


Rendezvous

by rendezv0us



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Highschool AU, angst will come, heelip, im not good with tags, side chuuves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-02 05:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rendezv0us/pseuds/rendezv0us
Summary: Love is supposed to be cruel, but no one seemed to care and tell that to Jungeun. Not until she realized that she was in love with a girl, said girl being her greatest headache Jeon Heejin. The school's favorite Jeon Heejin, the one that's good in everything she does and that is totally after beating Jungeun to take the school's best student spot.Or, that enemies to lovers Heelip au no one ever asked for.





	1. A Colorless World Is Too Boring

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Loona fanfic and I hope that you guys will enjoy it. Why Heelip? I just love them so much and want to bring more content about them, as there is pratically none. They're cute together, I swear. The fic will mostly have Jungeun's view, I hope you enjoy!

 

_"Will you change it with your fingers?"_

 

The classroom was dead silent, as it wasn’t the time for the students to arrive just yet. However, Kim Jungeun stepped inside, her head never being so heavy, as far as a migraine crisis was getting the best of her, to make her way towards her usual spot. She wasn't one to sit in the front row, but wasn’t very likely to sit by the end of the class as well. Her feet dragged her, almost automatically, until she reached the third row by the windows in the left side of the classroom and tossed her bag, on the floor, next to her chair.

 

A loud music fulfilled her ears tenderly, but she was quick to shut it down to focus only in gathering her materials for the class, even if it wasn’t about to start, more or less, in twenty minutes. Her biology teacher wasn’t well known for his punctuality, so you could never be sure. In the end, she best decided to get her music on again when everything was settled on top of her table.

 

“Jungeun-ah! Why did you left in such a hurry?!” Her best friend asked, entering the classroom in her usual clumsy way, literally stumbling at any and every row of classes she passed by, screaming at the top of her lungs as she is used to.

 

That wasn’t making wonders to Jungeun’s headache.

 

“Oh, hi again.” She answered, seeming bothered, because she was (her head was about to explode), taking off her earphones for good this time. “That girl was around, my stomach felt sick out of the sudden.”

 

Her friend, Jiwoo, just shrugged and denied with her head a little after, sparing a playful look at her friend before settling her own things for class.

 

“Okay look, leaving Heejin and your obsession with her aside, now please tell me that you did the homework.”

 

“I always do?” For once, she thought that not arguing about her _non-existent_ obsession with the brunette was the best choice. Because, well, her head was already in pain. Talking about the girl wouldn’t really help, only if she wanted to make it worse in order to leave early.

 

She wasn’t one to skip classes.

 

“Thank God, please let me borrow it I swear I’ll make it up to you, just please _please_ …” She sighed, as if she would deny her friend’s pleading.

 

“Just take it.” Jungeun laughed, and laughing hurts so her face was all sort of switching. And it was not like she wasn’t used to give her notes already, but Jiwoo hugged her shortly before eagerly getting her notebook for the answers.

 

“Jiwoo-unnie…” They both heard the not-so-sweet voice calling by the door, as some other students were making their way inside the classroom altogether.

 

“And so, the devil follows.” Jungeun whispered, and Jiwoo couldn’t keep the giggles inside her throat and all other sorts of weird faint noises, before getting up as she realized that the girl wasn’t about to enter their classroom anytime soon.

 

“Yes?”

 

Heejin slowly waved at Jungeun’s direction, muffling one single:  _hi_ . Jungeun answered rolling her eyes before laying her back fully on her seat and stretching her arms as she didn’t care. And she would very much like to say that annoyed her, just how much that girl was forcing herself to be seem, but a little smirk grew in her lips before she could shove it off. Heejin didn’t notice, but maybe she felt how much Jungeun kept her eyes on her, or _them_ (her best friend was _there_ , she wasn’t looking to Heejin because she wanted, _no_ ), as she faintly talked with her friend.

 

The conversation didn’t took long, she couldn’t deny the curiosity of being able to see them exchanging smiles and some looks at her own direction, but she wasn't able to hear a thing. They bid their goodbyes, not before Heejin taking just a few more glances towards Jungeun _(and did she just bit her lips looking at her?),_ because too many students were making their way inside and Heejin had to leave for her class as well. When Jiwoo went back to her table, she was all smiley like she heard the best joke in the century.

 

Or she was just extremely happy as always, Jungeun could never tell the difference.

 

“Heejin is so funny, how can you bluntly hate her?”

 

“I don’t blun- _whatever_ her, where did you even learned such a weird sounding word? Don’t answer, I bet you don’t even know what it means. She’s just annoying, okay?”

 

“I swear she’s not.”

 

“Are you friends now or something? What were you guys even talking about?”

 

“Someone is curious, I see.” Jiwoo teased, earning a heavy sigh and a meticulous cold look. She wasn’t bothered by it, though, there was so many years of friendship that she was already used to every single threat Jungeun could try. “I won’t tell.” She answered, sticking out her tongue to her friend and her eyes just so easily turned into crescent moons.

 

“Fine, whatever, just know that I won’t share my chocolates with you today.”

 

“That’s not fair!” Jungeun just flicked her hands in the air. “We weren’t talking about you, don’t worry. She just happens to know that senior I’ve told you about, and, well, she even got me her number.”

 

“Wait, she’s helping you with your crush?”

 

“See? She’s great.”

 

“She’s great at making me want to throw up, that’s it.”

 

“Are you still pressed that she got you that nickname?” That was a trigger, a very dangerous conversation that never failed to get Jungeun stressed out.

 

“Seriously, now?”

 

“It is a cute nickname though and she totally made that up to praise you, I’m sure of that.” Jiwoo couldn’t care less about her life, because going against Jungeun was surely the definition of living in the edge.

 

Jungeun was pretty chill, unless she was mad at something. Then, she wasn’t chill at all and she could literally keep whining for hours straight without the need of air. Even non-close friends feared her, as her looks were kind of intimidating as well. Maybe Jiwoo was the only one to enjoy the walking in eggshells, or she just soon pictured that the only thing Jungeun would ever do was pout and keep nagging for hours straight. She wouldn’t really stay mad for long and her memory was seriously bad, so she tends to lose her trace of thoughts fast if ignored for enough time.

 

“Can we please stop talking about her? My stomach is sick…”

 

“We can, but there’s other thing…”

 

“What? What have you done?” Jungeun knew something would come to her way, bad news if she was lucky. Even _worst_ news, if it was a normal situation. Or total chaos if she wasn’t lucky at all, most of the times this was the correct option.

 

“I sort of agreed to go out with them this afternoon, as she was going to watch a movie with Sooyoung…”

 

“And what does this have anything to do with m-…” Jungeun stopped, her eyes frozen on her friend. “Oh no, you didn’t do this.”

 

“There’s no one else to go with me and she doesn’t want to be our third wheel all alone, that she even accepted you going with us.”

 

“ARE YOU CRAZY?”

 

“Miss Kim, is everything fine?” The teacher asked, making his way inside the classroom, as every other student got silent after Jungeun’s scream.

 

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry teacher.” She told him, also dismissing all the other student’s looks towards her. “I’m so gonna kill you Jiwoo.”

 

* * *

 

 

The laugher was all over their table, at lunch time. Jungeun was trying hard to just finish with her food and go back to her class, as her friends wouldn’t stop teasing her for having a _date_ with the one and only Jeon Heejin. Yerim wasn’t that bad, she was mostly just laughing at any of Jinsoul’s quote. And, well, Jinsoul wouldn’t stop dragging her out for it.

 

“It won’t be that bad, right? If you’re going to watch a thriller, you can just kill her and blame the 3D effects no one will know.”

 

Yerim choked on her food.

 

“What?” The younger of the three asked.

 

“We know she’s thinking about it, right? Lippie is always thinking about all the possible ways of killing the girl, I don’t know how she even survived being in the same football team as her.”

 

“Hyunjin-unnie protects her when they’re in different sides, I’ve seen it.”

 

“We’re going to watch a romantic comedy.” Jungeun said, out of the sudden, her friends not even slightly ready to hear her voice after a long time that she was ignoring their jokes. “And can you please stop using that nickname Jinsoul? You know I hate it.”

 

“Are you serious?” Jinsoul asked just before bursting into laughter, tossing her head so hard in the table that, for a brief moment, their friends and the girls from the nearby tables (notice that it was an all girls school) got worried about her. She was fast to recover and go back to laugh so hard at Jungeun’s face, though, seeming completely unbothered by the hit. Yerim started laughing as well. “And no can’t do, this nickname fits you perfectly just like she-who-must-not-be-named once stated.”

 

“Instead of making fun of me, why don’t any of you just come with me so I won’t have to survive an entire afternoon in hell?”

 

“But I thought you wanted to go in a date with Heejin?” Jinsoul teased again.

 

“I’m this close of ditching you both, to get new friends. You guys are totally useless.”

 

“Unnie I’m seriously sorry, okay? I would totally go with you… if I, somehow, wanted to have a really short life.”

 

“That’s my girl.” Jinsoul and Yerim high-fived, Jungeun just snorted loudly because she couldn’t deal with her friends anymore.

 

“You’re siding with Jinsoul? After all the hours I’ve spend helping you in your studies?”

 

“But unnie, no one wants to get dragged between one of your fights with Heejin-unnie, you guys are pretty dense when you’re together.”

 

“That’s mainly her fault, for always annoying me to the bones.”

 

“Sometimes she’s just literally breathing?”

 

“Even her breathing is annoying, the sound of it, I can’t believe I’ll have to spare a whole afternoon trying to not commit either a homicide or suicide.”

 

“Well, good luck on that. I’d rather not have myself involved too, because I just need to see Jiwoo whining all day tomorrow, for how you two totally screwed up her date with Sooyoung. Does Heejin even know that you’re tagging along?”

 

“She knows… and I’ve seen her laughing out loud with Jiwoo, with that devilish grin of hers. I bet she likes having yet another opportunity to pester me. I’m not surviving this afternoon, I just feel it.”

 

“Oh, but what’s the worst that could happen? You two kiss?” Jinsoul asked, of course she did.

 

“I’d rather die, than let her touch me.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Can you please stop latching to my arm? This is not funny.” Jungeun complained.

 

“Isn’t that supposed to be a double date? I’m just doing the same as them.” Heejin answered, signaling with her head in their friend’ s direction. Sooyoung and Jiwoo were just some steps ahead of them, lost in their own world, talking about nothing they could comprehend.

 

Jungeun wasn’t sure that they couldn’t understand, because they were either talking really low or Jiwoo was using a language never heard on earth before, and Sooyoung was just pretending that she could understand. Practically, was way safer to assume for the second option. Jungeun has, somewhere, videos and audios stored with weird noises her friend does. A whole lot of them. Jiwoo calls them as merely _“communication”_ , Jungeun wasn’t sure that she knew that communication implied talking and being understood by another fellow _human_.

 

It took awhile for Jungeun to come back and think about a proper answer to Heejin, as it was never an easy task to talk with the devil.

 

“This is not a double date. I refuse to call it that way, I’m here totally against my will.”

 

“Yes, whatever, but you’re walking so slowly that you can get lost pretty quickly and I won’t be left alone with those two birds.”

 

“Shut up, that’s actually my plan to leave early.” Heejin punched her shoulder, a little lighter than Jungeun thought she would, not that this would keep her from making a little drama.

 

“Do you guys realize that you’re looking more like a couple, than us?” Sooyoung asked, looking back at them.

 

“Urgh, gross.” Heejin scoffed, getting some distance from Jungeun.

 

Not lasting for a long time though.

 

“That’s the worst thing that someone ever told me.” Jungeun said and Heejin just nodded, then they were left in some sort of awkward stare competition. Until they realized that they were indeed staring at each other, and stopped. “And it’s like your first date, but you guys are doing way to good already? You don’t even need me here, right?”

 

“You’re not leaving me alone with those two, stop trying you asshole.”

 

“Hello, language? And never, if you blink for slightly longer I’ll just run away.”

 

“I’m faster than you, can catch up pretty easily.”

 

“That’s… highly unfair, and such an unpleasant truth that I never asked for. Can you please just remain quiet for, like, forever? Am I asking for too much?”

 

“How do you even keep being friends with this person Jiwoo-unnie? I thought that I used to whine a lot, but she just won’t stop.”

 

“Please stop calling me unnie.” The older asked, giggling. “She’ll get sleepy if you pet her hair.”

 

“Don’t you dare.” Jungeun threatened, as soon as she saw Heejin’s left and only free hand getting up to her direction. Her right arm was still latching to Jungeun’s left one, the older must have forgotten or deliberately decided to so she won’t have to keep fighting about it.

 

“She’s also very soft when she’s sleepy, I guarantee.”

 

“Jiwoo! I even come with you and you have to drag me out like that, can you please let me breathe and not uncover all my secrets to this person?”

 

“Sorry Lip-ah!”

 

“And stop using that damn nickname.”

 

“This is the best nickname ever, from the best person ever as well.”

 

“Can we please stop by any bathroom? I seriously need to throw up.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

The afternoon was, unexpectedly, better than Jungeun could have imagine. Heejin wasn’t such a terrible company when she was silent, and luckily enough she pretty much got endorsed into eating sweet popcorn (which Jungeun might have payed for, when Jiwoo and Sooyoung weren’t looking) as she had all her attention on the movie.

 

About the movie, it wasn’t really Jungeun’s favorite kind and it would be a waste of money, if her goal was something apart than helping her friend to get the girl she wanted. It was such a good sight, to see how Jiwoo was getting along so well with Sooyoung. Because, as far as she knew, Sooyoung wasn’t that easy to approach. Jinsoul is one of her closest friends, but even for Jungeun, that happens to be around Jinsoul literally every time after or in the break of classes, was hard to get close Sooyoung. They were in the same dance club as well, but they wouldn’t talk there. Sooyoung was pretty intimidating while dancing, for her amazing and powerful skills. Jungeun was suddenly curious about how this girl, Jeon Heejin, was able to be friends with her.

 

“She’s always at the library.”

 

“What?” Jungeun asked, raising her chin that was resting on Heejin’s right shoulder. In her defense, the movie was making her sleepy and she couldn’t rest her head on Jiwoo’s because they couldn’t get four tickets together. So, Sooyoung and Jiwoo were sitting in a row just in front of them. And, so the devil itself seemed better, _and comfier_ (Heejin had broad shoulders, compared to her thin arms, and Jungeun was kind of weak for broad shoulders. They were _so_ good to lay on...), than the stranger by her right side.

 

“Sooyoung, that’s how we met.”

 

“Do you read minds now? There’s seriously not a single place that I can be without your annoying presence?” Jungeun asked, astonished.

 

“Shut up.” Heejin answered, all the while putting Jungeun’s face back to rest at her shoulder. She surely heard her whispering a _don’t touch me_ , but Jungeun rested her head again anyway. “You’ve been looking at them for the entire movie with this weird scrunched face.”

 

“I don’t have a we-… forget it, tell me more.”

 

“I volunteer at the library sometimes, and Sooyoung knows as she is always there. So, she told me about cute notes she found in some books and if it was okay to leave them there. As, you know, the person wasn’t damaging the books was just some post-it notes in them. There was a signature, also, by the name Chuu.”

 

“This is so Jiwoo behavior.” She answered, a side smile gaining space on her lips.

 

“It took us some weeks to discover that was her. I’m pretty sure they started to make some conversations out of these notes, so that’s why they’re able to be this comfortable around each other?”

 

“I was so sure Jiwoo was making up this note conversation history, to ditch me at lunch. But so, you just decided to help them?”

 

“Yes, why not? They look cute.”

 

The conversation was cut there, as Heejin turned her face back to the movie. And maybe the movie wasn’t that bad in the end, but Jungeun couldn’t quite tell because she wasn’t paying that much of attention to it.

 

She wasn’t fully sleeping either, because Heejin’s breath kept making her face going up and down. That’s wasn’t annoying, maybe like endearing? Jungeun caught herself paying attention to it, even though keeping her eyes close so Heejin wouldn’t notice.

 

Heejin wasn’t _that_ bad when she was silent.

 

And not _that_ bad when she was speaking too, by the way.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Thank you so _so_ much for this, I can’t believe you and Heejin actually didn’t killed each other!” Jiwoo said, tossing herself to her friend’s arms and hugging her so strongly that Jungeun couldn’t breathe. “This day was awesome! Sooyoung is so funny, and so kind, I really _really really_ like her so much and…”

 

“I think you can stop there, because I’m sure you’re just going to keep telling me of how much you like her and I think I’ve got it already. And now you know, that I’d literally walk on hell to help you out.”

 

“I’ve seen that you enjoyed Heejin’s company, at least a little bit. Admit it!”

 

“Nope, not at all.”

 

“You ended up linking arms with her.”

 

“She forced me to, it was never my intention in the first place.”

 

“You rested your head on her shoulder.”

 

“That’s something you can’t prove, if I don’t remember I haven’t done it. And where was I supposed to lay my head on? That movie made me sleepy.” Jiwoo just lightly pushed her friend.

 

“Remember that I was taking some pictures with Sooyoung? Of course, I would gather some proofs as well. I just posted one, actually.”

 

“Please tell me you’re joking, you literally have all the school following your Instagram, I don’t want people thinking that I’m even slightly close to her.”

 

“Too bad!” The girl just jumped away from the hug, before Jungeun could catch her.

 

“After everything I’ve done for you, why do you repay me like that?”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you a chocolate bar.”

 

“You owe me at least twenty for today, but one can do for now.” Jungeun said, taking her phone that was in her pockets as it won’t stop busing. Of course, it was Jinsoul showering her with texts probably after seeing her picture with Heejin.

 

Tomorrow would be such a hard day to endure, she could tell.

 

“Do you want to come over?” She asked, when they arrived in front of her house.

 

“I can’t, promised my mom to help her with dinner. See you at school tomorrow?”

 

“Sure, just don’t forget this is a one time only event. Don’t you dare put me in another double date with Jeon Heejin involved.”

 

“Hm? Did you say something? I suddenly can’t hear?” Her friend playfully said, her light brown hair hovering in the wind as she was walking forward. “Today was great, let’s do it again please!”

 

“Never!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Mom, I’m home.” Jungeun said, just as she made her way home.

 

She had spent at least half an hour in front of her house, because Jiwoo suddenly turned back. She was forgetting to give her chocolates and they just started to talk nonsense a little more, before Jiwoo went back literally running to her house when her mom later called.

 

“Oh, hi sweetie, I left your cleaned clothes on your bed. Do you want to eat something before dinner?”

 

“It would be nice, yes.” Jungeun said, bowing to her mother as she made her way to the kitchen. “I’ll just set my things in my room and be right back.”

 

The sun was already setting, when she entered her room, so the first thing was to close the window and turn the lights on. She left her bag on the desk chair, before giving attention to the clothes on her bed. Jungeun was tired for walking all day long, the movie theater wasn’t that close to her house and they went there on foot from the school and then to her house. So, she took a little time to lay down, just putting the clothes aside by her feet and went to check her cellphone.

 

There was, being modest, tons messages from Jinsoul. All of them about her _date_ with Heejin. She ignored all the jokes, just saying that she was tired and the afternoon was like a living hell. It was a lie, she was deep down aware of it, but she had a name to keep. One good afternoon wouldn’t be able to make up, to all those previous times Heejin annoyed her to the bones.

 

 _Nope_.

 

After almost falling asleep, between texting Jinsoul and just tiredly laying on her back, Jungeun went up to assort her clothes inside her wardrobe and just before she could finish her mother entered her room.  

 

“Thank you, mom.” She said, receiving a toast and a handmade cappuccino, and she left the rest of the clothes behind, so she could eat.

 

Her mother sat on her bed, giving her the warmest smile, seeing Jungeun starting to eat by her desk.

 

“How was the movie?”

 

“Fine, I guess.” She was too tired, to find will in herself to explain about a movie she hasn’t really watched.

 

“Jiwoo was with you?”

 

“Yes, she was. I’ve asked if she wanted to come in, but she had to help her mother with dinner.”

 

“And class?”

 

“I have a few assignments to do before dinner, but I can help you with it if you want.”

 

“No, it’s okay. You can help me with the dishes after.”

 

“Is that your way to tell me that I’m a bad at cooking?”

 

“No, of course not.” Her mother answered, keeping a warm smile and also getting up. “Don’t forget to bring me your plate and your cup after you finish please.”

 

Jungeun forgot to bring her things to the kitchen, too endorsed into her homework to even dare to look at the rest of her bedroom. Some clothes were still sprawled over her bed, the sheets were messily hanging from it as well, for the almost nap she had earlier and even if she thought about that for nearly thirty minutes, it was for the best that she would just focus on her homework before doing anything else. There were quite a few things to be done, for the three classes she would have the next morning, and she just knew that if she left for later she wouldn’t be able to do it properly.

 

_Or do it at all._

 

It took her nearly two hours to finish everything up, by that time her mother had already entered her room to gather the plates and, also, made time to fix the rest of her clothes. She wasn’t even slightly mad, because she just loved how much her daughter payed attention to her studies. That was the only thing her mother ever asked her for, and it only helped that Jungeun always complied, for Jungeun to focus in her studies as she never got the chance to do it herself. Of course, she would definitely ramble when Jungeun made too much of a mess or would stay inside her room for too long, but she couldn’t complain. Her daughter was a bit lazy and often left dirty clothes around her bedroom, but she was still quite organized. Also, she was just the best student of her school, how could her mother ever be mad at her for long? She just couldn’t, her daughter made her so proud for working so hard.

 

Jungeun was also a pretty chill child, never one to complain when her parents couldn’t get her something. See, her family was healthy but not to be called rich. Her mother worked at a huge store nearby, being part of the management crew, so she had a lot of work, but always made time to keep the house clean and tidy. Jungeun always admired her so much, she couldn’t barely keep with only studying, when her mother had a work that took so much of her time and still never failed to keep the house in perfect state. Her father worked just as much, in an international trading business she didn’t really cared about, that wasn’t very steady and had him travelling a lot. That had its downsides, because Jungeun can remember of how much she had to stay alone at the house, even in such young ages. They wouldn’t miss the holidays, and her father was the best when he came back bringing gifts from the places he went, but she would trade that up just to be a little less lonely.

 

Sometimes she thinks that, perhaps, that had some impact on how people find her scary nowadays. It’s way hard for her to approach anyone and she thinks that the few friends she had are just for her excellence in school, and sports. Jungeun was the best center midfielder that her school has ever had in the feminine football team, also one of the best swimmers (just losing to Jinsoul, she swears the girl was a fish in another life or something) and she danced quite well too. Not like Sooyoung, the same that hang out with them earlier, but at least in a decent way. Only because Jiwoo dragged her to the dance club, actually, and so she skips a lot of their meetings.

 

Apart from being in a lot of club activities, she was kind of lazy and was never one to dwell much in any of these for good. Her parents weren’t that supportive as well, mostly went it came to football because it wasn’t a _feminine_ sport (?), not that they would bug her every time, but her mother tends to bring some quotes from time to time. She was totally an unproblematic kid, so they didn’t bother much and just let her do whatever. Also, Jungeun was sure to not follow any sports career, it was just too tiring for her to handle, she couldn’t picture herself having cramps in all her muscles for the living. Maybe the pain wouldn’t be that bad if she had proper professional tutoring, but she would rather stay lost among books anyway.

 

Jungeun loved literature, another passion that her parents couldn’t comprehend much. They were never the reading type and never quite introduced her to it, and her entirely family was more inclined to math’s and things related. There was this distant aunt that used to be in a literature course, but she gave up midway (Jungeun wasn’t sure why) and end up opening an electronic store for her and her husband. Of course, her mother used to read some child books when she was little, but that was long way gone. She had some of those books stored somewhere, if her mother haven’t donate them all already, and she could still remind herself about a pig story she loved so much.

 

Then, Jungeun realized that she was already over her assignments and just losing time scrolling down the internet with random thoughts circling her mind. She turned on her speakers, a little betrayed by herself for not doing it sooner, and left it on shuffle among her favorite piano songs. She went out of her room just a few minutes before dinner, asking her mother if she needed anything and ending up helping to set the table. It was just the two of them for the night, but it was still refreshing after the long day she had. When she went to sleep, after cleaning up the dishes and taking a shower, she just noticed that being busy allowed her to just shrug it off any thoughts about the afternoon.

 

It came like a waterfall in the night, though, just when she was looking through her Instagram again. The picture was still there, with so many likes and a few comments already, not counting the ones Jinsoul gave in their private chat. Weirdly enough, it felt kind of nice looking at the picture. Jiwoo was with her usual big bright smile, maybe a little bit bigger and brighter as Sooyoung was just by her side and she was just behind them, walking with her left arm linked with Heejin’s right one. They were laughing over something, she couldn’t remember what as she wasn’t quite aware of when Jiwoo took that picture. It could either be in the walk towards the movie theater, or in their way back as they parted ways after some time.

 

Jeon Heejin was a year younger, but she was close with her seniors and younger friends somehow. She knew Yerim from the theater club, Jinsoul from the music club (Jungeun wanted so bad to be part of this one, but she never did as she previously failed in the school’s chord), and now Jiwoo that she met in the library after that note thing with Sooyoung. Also, she was somehow really close to the chord leader Haseul that used to be Jungeun’s close friend, but they kind of got a little apart after she left the group. They never had a fight, or something, she was just too ashamed because she never really felt good at singing and quitted the group out of nowhere. And, even if Haseul never really bothered of how sudden she left, Jungeun was way too ashamed for letting her down. Haseul was just this person that you would always want to make proud of you, and this was kind of heavy when she could only think that she was lacking at nearly everything.

 

And Heejin was pretty much the total opposite, as far as she knows, the girl pretty much indorsed herself in whatever activity with no shame. Not only she did it gracefully, she was also so popular around the school that it was rather infuriating. She was part of the football team, _yes,_ the best winger (also, left-footed which is kind of rare) and Jungeun pretty much had to work a lot with her. Not that she wouldn’t, deliberately, sometimes pass the ball for other teammates (or to no place at all) just to avoid getting more chances for the girl. That was never a problem, not that Heejin would let it pass without arguing a lot, because there was another really good player in their team. Her name was Kim Hyunjin, Heejin’s _close_ (a lot of emphasis on _close_ , the rumor is that they used to date or maybe were still dating) same age friend, their attacker that was even better than them but not that recognized.

 

Also, Heejin was part of the swimming team as well. Maybe there wasn’t really a club that she, somehow, didn’t made part of. But, she was more of a front liner to fast races, when it comes to swimming, and Jungeun was more inclined to the long ones. Jungeun was more steady, than explosive, so this kind of short races didn’t really suited her well. Not that this would stop them from seeing each other a lot in the trainings and even racing against each other. And, _of course_ , Heejin was in the dance club. Maybe that was one of the reasons Jungeun happens to avoid the club so much, because it was just too sad to be part of something that the girl was way better than her (In her vision, she wasn’t really a bad dance and she fitted so well mostly in girl crush concepts). Jungeun kind of had some pride, when it comes to Jeon Heejin. She wasn’t aware, but that was one of the reasons for them to be always at each other’s throats.

 

The girl was a year younger, Jungeun reminds herself a lot about that, but so ready to take every major spot at the school. _Damn_ , she was even assigned to be Haseul’s winger at the school’s council. And she kept all those activities as if they were nothing, she was just everywhere, doing everything and being _great_ at everything. How was that even possible? Everything was just so _easy_ for her, when Jungeun struggled so much. That wasn’t fair, was it? Even after their football trainings, when the girl always ran so much around the field, probably being the fastest player and ultimately helping their lacking teammates whenever she could, but she wouldn’t even sweat by the end of the day (That’s not entirely sure, but it’s just the way she feels about it)? The worst, though, was just how much everyone was infatuated by the girl. Jungeun wasn’t even joking when she felt her stomach _sick_ , every time she sees someone just being bluntly held by the girl’s beauty.

 

Heejin wasn’t even _that_ pretty, she looked rather ordinary.

 

But, Jungeun couldn’t deny it, the girl had some different color to herself. A brightness, some sort of highlight, that made her stand out. And she would have spent most of her afternoon just thinking about that again, on how that girl looked so ordinary and yet so different at the same time. Jungeun wouldn’t be able to find the answers and would rather be annoyed for how much her thoughts easily floated around the girl. Thankfully, she didn’t lose her entire afternoon on that, because she was busy studying, but it meant that _now_ she was getting trouble to sleep.

 

_Great._

 

Jungeun decided that it wasn’t jealously, what she felt towards the younger, even if she hated the idea that a girl like that could ever take her place as the best student (she was already the second). She would definitely try and call it hatred, but something about it always felt kind of wrong and it sorts of stings to her chest. She doesn’t even know why, but her throat gets dry and her chest gets really _really_ heavy whenever she has to say that out loud to her friends.

 

And she does say that a lot to her friends.

 

There is this different look she has to the girl as well, her friends always stated, this puzzled one where she just stays facing Heejin for half a minute before halting anything she was doing because _clearly_ the girl was provoking her somehow. And Jungeun _had_ to do something about it, that’s why they’re usually fighting over something when they’re slightly closer. She would mostly avoid her in migraine crisis, just to be sure to not combust to death.

 

It was so weird to have a proper conversation with her for the first time, like how she talked about being Sooyoung’s friend and helping her out with Jiwoo.

 

Weird because it felt nice, for the very first time she would like to say, not that she had never laughed at the girl’s dad jokes before (you better believe, all those jokes are seriously terrible), or slightly smirked every time she purposely _fake_ -flirted with her (with a huge emphasis on _fake)_ or that she felt a sudden emptiness when the girl had H1N1 and missed school for half a month earlier this year. Maybe Jungeun purposely erased that few memories, just so she could sleep on this night and be able to tell herself that it was one day only. Because it was just a day, and would keep being just as a single day, that Heejin was sort of bearable.

 

_It had to be._

 

Just for the records, Heejin also smells nice, but Jungeun couldn’t quite comprehend her perfume and wouldn’t be caught dead ever asking about it.

 

Jungeun couldn’t sleep.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next morning was the same thing again, she got to her class rather early because Heejin was just _there_ among her friends and she wasn’t having it. The brunette saw her, she was sure of it, as she was just on the way over her friends but froze to her spot before turning left when Heejin came to her view. By that time, the girl had already turned and was surely facing her as if she could sense that Jungeun was nearby. Of course, that was only her mind tricking her, but it felt kind of scary anyway. She was starting to think that the girl was some sort of psychic (she watched to many _X-men_ movies in this very same week). Jungeun mindlessly texted Jiwoo to meet her at class, but didn’t got a reply any soon.

 

Jinsoul surely called her twice, thinking that maybe Jungeun was sick or something for not showing up at their little group meeting at the first hall. And Jungeun wouldn’t ever pick up her calls, as calling wasn’t really her thing, so she just turned her off and replied a few minutes after telling that she was already very well setting herself for the first class and wouldn’t even consider leaving again.

 

When she was very distracted, as Jinsoul was the talkative type and they went straight into the weirdest conversation about mermaids (it happens), and just very suddenly she was straight out of it when her friend just had to enter the class literally screaming while jumping around. Neither to say, that Jungeun’s phone just went jumping around too, as she was way too scared (you can read as: _scaredy-cat_ ) from the sudden noise. And, _oh my God,_ Jiwoo would hear so much if her cellphone broke just because of her.

 

“You better start running, because if my cellphone is broken you’re so gonna pay for it in an extremely painful way.”

 

“Ah, Jungeun-ni, look it’s perfectly fine!” Jiwoo said, getting her cellphone from the floor.

 

“You’re lucky that I have this case to protect it. Now tell me, why are you screaming around like that? I mean, not that you don’t do this all the time but there’s just something about this little smile. It has something to do with Sooyoung, right?”

 

“Listen, she texted me yesterday after she got home, and we went for coffee before coming to school!”

 

And then, just like the day before, Heejin decided to show up at their classroom door. This time, as she was a few minutes early, she actually got in to meet with Jiwoo and Jungeun.

 

“What are you doing here again? Do you lost the way to your class?” Jungeun asked, just as seeing the little shy ( _shy?_ ) smile at the girl’s face.

 

“Oh, hi Ipsool. What a nice way to greet me you have.”

 

“Don’t call me like that. Also, it’s more of an invitation for you to kindly get the hell away from here.” Jungeun rolled her eyes.

 

“I just really wanted to talk with you…” She said and Jungeun froze on her spot for a second, because Heejin was looking at her. “… Jiwoo.” _Oh, of course,_ what would she even want to talk with Jungeun anyway? “Sooyoung was really so happy after your date and I know you already talked, and even saw each other again, but I think you would like to know that she loved going out with you.”

 

Jiwoo turned into a red mess, as she was grabbing Heejin’s hand out of happiness, she also screamed a bunch of incoherent things (that was just her signature) before retreating her hands to hide her face and muffle her screams.

 

“Is she always like that?” Heejin asked, towards Jungeun this time.

 

“She usually doesn’t muffle her screams, now she’s just being considerate of your ears. I don’t happen to have the same luck, and I probably lost some of my hearing capability already.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yah!” Jiwoo said, hitting Jungeun’s arm after realizing what she had just said. “But thank you Heejin-ah, Sooyoung is such a nice person it’s so awesome that she even noticed me.”

 

“You’re so cute unnie, of course she would notice you.”

 

“Urgh, why are you guys being so cheesy for? Can you please have this conversation elsewhere?”

 

“Oh come on, you know that you are the one supposed to help your friend? I mean, you’re best friends for ages and you didn’t even put them together?”

 

“Hey, Sooyoung is not a very approachable person okay? I’ve tried, but she’s just…”

 

“Why don’t you just say that you’re a terrible best friend and leave?” Heejin teased, putting her hands on Jungeun’s table, almost in a whisper. Jiwoo was trying to keep herself from laughing, but it wasn’t that easy.

 

“This is actually my class and you’re the one that should be leaving, please? Don’t you have other people to annoy?”

 

“As I was saying, Jiwoo-unnie.” Heejin decided to ignore Jungeun and her rambling.

 

“Please don’t call me unnie.” Jiwoo asked, _again_.

 

“Sorry, sorry… but, well, there is another reason for me to come here. Don’t tell Sooyoung, okay? But she wants so bad to see you again and she’s kind of afraid that she’s rushing…”

 

“Oh no, _of course not_ , she’s not rushing. Not rushing at all. Anything.” Jungeun snorted by her side and Jiwoo just had to slightly push her.

 

“Good, so I’ll just tell you this and you pretend that I didn’t okay? She’s going to wait for me at the coffee you went earlier, during my football training. So, if you just suddenly appear there I’m sure she’ll like some company…”

 

“Wah… you’re so kind Heejin! I’ll make sure to go, I was about to wait for Jungeun anyway.”

 

“Oh, yes, I’ll better get going then. Please don’t tell her, or she’ll kill me. But she just won’t stop talking about you and I never knew she could talk that much…  so just have fun, you two.” Heejin said, getting on her way. “And see you at the field latter Lips.”

 

“Stop with the nicknames! What the hell. Geez, am I going to endure her coming here every day now?” Jungeun asked, but Jiwoo wasn’t listening at all. “Hey, earth to Jiwoo… are you fine?”

 

“I- I’m everything but fine right now.” Jiwoo answered with a huge awkward smile, before laying her head fully on the table and whispering a bunch of nonsense that Jungeun wasn’t even in the mood to decipher. Not that she could, ever.

 

A bunch of other students were entering the class already and, of course, they heard about and seen the pictures of Jiwoo from the day before. Everyone wanted to know just how she got to be friends with Sooyoung and Jiwoo was so glad to give them every single detail. They wouldn’t forget to tease Jungeun as well, for being close to her so called _enemy_ , but all she could do was _politely_ (let’s not put emphasis on that, actually) ask them to leave her alone. Just like that her colleagues would comply, because her cold aura was really something.

 

Apart from everything else, Jungeun was seriously happy for her friend. She wasn’t that good at expressing it, but she always loved how much Jiwoo was passionate about everything she liked and never afraid to show off. As for Jungeun she had so many thoughts about the things that encircled her, that it was hard to enjoy things with so many second guesses. Sometimes, even if it felt so wrong, she started to believe when people said that she had no feelings. _Or she wanted to_. She had two previous relationships, with guys from the school in the next neighborhood, and it ended so soon because she just couldn’t feel it. There was some sort of excitement in the beginning, but as them started to date it just felt a little off and vanished soon?

 

About girls, she never really tried even if it was common among her friends and the students around the school. Perks of having too much girls around, maybe? But she just wasn’t interested? Jiwoo, of course, _always_ pleaded for her to at least try but she never felt like it. She didn’t have to try something _she knew_ it wasn’t for her, right? Not because most of her friends were trying out and having fun, that she needed to try as well to prove a point. There were a few actresses that she deeply adored, but she couldn’t describe as crushes. It was solely admiration, for a few colleagues as well, nothing to do with attraction. She felt that there was something kind of strange with her previous relationships with guys, thought, and maybe it was getting worst to the point that she couldn’t picture herself dating.

 

But it has nothing to do with liking girls.

 

_Not at all._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Listen, there is this girl…” Jinsoul started to speak, just as they were making their way towards the field.

 

Jungeun was already wearing her black with yellow sleeves football hoodie (the very much unpleasant colors of the school, she hated yellow so much) as they were lightly endorsed in a conversation. And thank God Jinsoul could make her company, because she just hated to walk alone. She was so used to have Jiwoo following her everywhere, they’ve been friends for so long. But, well, Jiwoo would have her crushes from time to time and disappear a little so she had to drag other people around. Jinsoul never complained when it was her turn to be so, even if she lived in the other side of the city and would get home rather late to receive a very long lecture from her parents. She could always say that she got caught up in the studies, _anyway_ , and never really bothering to tell Jungeun about it.

 

“… the recently transferred one, I told you about her, she’s a year older than me. Remember?”

 

“Sure, sure, what about her? Thinking about making a move?”

 

“No…” The blonde answered kind of fast, earning a laugh and a slap from Jungeun. “Is just that, I don’t know what for but there was some bad blood between her and that junior…”

 

“Olivia?”

 

“You already heard?”

 

“No, it’s just that she’s always getting in trouble somehow.”

 

“Yeah, that’s right. So, they got in an argument of some sort, as it seems, and were suspended. I mean, it’s no news for Olivia, but even the new girl was suspended, and she seems so kind? Everyone is talking about that, but no one really knows what happened.”

 

“Yerim doesn’t know?”

 

“She never knows about the gossips, I’ve spent half an hour trying to get something from her until I’ve realized that she was just making a lot of random assumptions again.”

 

“What did she say, this time around?” Jungeun asked, already expecting an odd statement. Yerim was smart, but always had some crazy theories about everything around her. Like if she lived in a world of her own, or between a lot of worlds of her own. The girl was just too dense, _okay?_ Jungeun sort of happens to avoid her on migraine crisis days as well, for being dense and unbearably happy.

 

“She said, that Olivia found out that Vivi was actually a robot. But, at the same time, Vivi discovered that Olivia was some sort of dark bird I don’t know… but _hello_ , we all know she’s a werewolf in disguise, right? Hasn’t anyone proved that yet?”

 

Jungeun had to stop walking, to hold herself from falling on the floor for how much she was laughing.

 

“Are you binge watching fantasy movies and series with Yerim again? Because you need to stop.”

 

“Come on! I swear that I’ve seen Vivi plugging herself one day. With my own two eyes, no one can ever tell me otherwise. But Olivia a bird? The girl is a full werewolf, _seriously_ , have you noticed how tall she is? How come?”

 

“Genetics?”

 

“Yes! Werewolf genetics!”

 

“Seriously… I think we have settled that werewolves don’t truly exist? And you’re tall yourself, are you a werewolf too?”

 

“No! I’m a beautiful mermaid…” Jinsoul said with a childish bright smile, Jungeun fixed her clothes before starting to walk again. “… Look, you know how Chae likes dogs? And she’s like, so head over heels for Olivia? This surely explains everything.”

 

“Chaewon? Your long distant cousin?”

 

“Just because she has blonde hair, doesn’t means that we’re related okay?”

 

“Oh, but I’ve heard that she’s failing in, at least, a few classes just like you. Does the bleach affect your brain, or you were always like that? I need to know, it’s for a research.”

 

“You know what? Wanna make a _bet_?” Jinsoul halted, just before they could enter the field.

 

A few students passing by them.

 

“Hm… what kind of bet?”

 

“I always joke around, about how you will end up dating Heejin right?”

 

“Shh… Jesus, shut your mouth! Talking about the devil will just summon her here and someone might hear.” She made sure to look to all their sides, greeting some teammates, before turning her way back to Jinsoul. “And this will never happen. Of all the girls around, do you think I would really lose my time with her? If I was about to have interest in any girl, which I do not have so far, I would have some taste.”

 

“She is pretty. Not in my level of pretty, but…”

 

“Just tell me about the bet and be done.”

 

“Okay, okay… So, if you end up either kissing or dating her…”

 

“This will never happen, you and Yerim must surely live in another dimension…”

 

“Let me finish?”

 

“Fine, fine… Go ahead, and be quick I’m already late.”

 

“As I always tease you about her, and you always tease me about my hair… if you end up kissing her you _must_ dye your hair blonde.”

 

Jungeun just snorted very loudly, before gathering her composure back.

 

“Whatever, this is not happening anyway so… But don’t I get to win something if, let me see, I don’t kiss her until the end of the semester or so?”

 

“I’ll dye my hair black again?”

 

“No, that’s just too easy. What about… you _finally_ giving some attention to your studies and let me tutor you?”

 

“That’s not fair, studying is so hard!”

 

“No study, no deal then.”

 

“Wait, fine I’ll do it. I’m so sure you’re going to lose this, there’s just so much tension between you two, it must mean something.”

 

“Have you ever heard about mutual hatred?”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hey Jungeun, you look pretty!” Heejin shouted, from the other side of the line, and maybe the Kim had to look towards to the floor preventing herself from showing the _blush_ in her cheeks. “… pretty ready to lose!”

 

“You-… are you sure about that?” They both going to the edge of the center line, not crossing it, just for the sake of teasing each other.

 

“Yes, I mean, I’ll have someone to properly pass the ball for me. And you’re so slow, that you’ll only watch my back for the entire game.” Jungeun just scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Loser pays for coffee?”

 

“Are you seriously thinking that it’s remotely possible that I’ll lose to you?”

 

Wait, was this day the annual betting day or something?

 

“Of course, and I’ll make sure to take a picture and spread your shame all over school.”

 

“Deal.” They very loosely shake their hands, just to confirm the deal. “You better start counting all your coins, because I’ll ask a very expensive one.”

 

“Let’s see then…” Heejin answered, before blinking to her.

 

“Are you done with your little chat girls, can we start?” Their coach asked and they both nodded.

 

The first thing Jungeun did was running towards Hyunjin and asking for the dear Gods, that Hyunjin wouldn’t lose goal opportunities just to let Heejin win. It was a _life matter_ , she said, and Hyunjin lightly accepted but she still had her worries. She was very confident in the rest of the members, belonging to her team, Heejin must be totally out of her mind for proposing the bet. Though, she feared at little, just seeing on how the girl fixed her socks over her shin guards. Also, the way her hair just fell from her shoulders and how she went right back up after was… sort of _distracting_ . Did she really had to bite her teeth as going up? The girl was so naturally _annoying_ , Jungeun had to force herself to focus on the game and not on her.

 

A hard task, when Heejin would come by her side and mark her every time she was with the possession of the ball. Wasn’t helping that, _too_ , Heejin wouldn’t care about making a fault either by pulling her uniform, or even fully hugging her sides and taking her down in any possible way. Too much of body contact with her, again. And that, most of the times, the coach wouldn’t signal the fault just for the sake of keeping the game rolling faster.

 

“What’s up Lip, are you trying to fake an injure so you won’t lose the bet?” Heejin asked after, yet again, getting the ball from Jungeun. The two of them were just getting up from the grass, as they both had lost their balance and the ball went lose to other teammates to get.

 

“That was surely a fault.”

 

“Complain to the coach then.” Heejin laughed, with her so beautiful smile in her _also_ beautiful little face all covered with sweat. _Oh_ , what now? Jungeun must have fall too many times already, and that _surely_ affected her brain. Otherwise, she wouldn’t _ever_ think that the girl was even slightly pretty? Maybe when she wasn’t being this annoying brat, not that she would admit.

 

“Look, you’re not even playing fair!” Jungeun said, biting hard on her lips, because she knew Heejin wouldn’t just shut up. It was just like she always had a perfect and well-made answer, for everything Jungeun ever said.

 

“I’ve never said I would?” Heejin said, receiving the ball just on her left foot (the good one, but she wasn’t in a position to shoot just yet) and just in a blink tricked Jungeun as she was still distracted. “Bye!” She managed to say, before sprinting pass Jungeun and going forward.

 

“Oh no, you’re not!”

 

Jungeun got a weak hold on Heejin’s shirt, but she wasn’t able to put the girl on the floor. She lost her balance, _sure_ , but it was just like no one could stop her easily when she started to run. Heejin had a lot of injures in previous games, from all the hunting from other teams. Some of her teammates in the training as well, because no one could maintain their temper with how easily she broke through them in the most shameful way she could. She was also able to cut both defenders, another midfielder and Jungeun still tried to follow, almost getting to her. But, it was too late, facing only the goalkeeper in front of her, Heejin just had to shoot a little high on the left to celebrate.

 

It was a beautiful goal. The first of other three, when Jungeun’s team could only get one goal when she assisted for Hyunjin. Heejin was all the sorts of unstoppable, like a true born demigod, when she was inspired and Jungeun couldn’t be angrier towards her teammates.

 

“Hey…” Heejin said, following Jungeun as they exited the field after the last whistle. “… don’t be so mad, at least you had a nice view for the entire game.”

 

“Can you please just leave me alone? I’ll just get the _damn_ money for your coffee in my bag.” Jungeun said and Jinsoul was already coming from the bleachers with her bag.

 

“No, no, no… You’re going to the coffee shop with me, so I can take a picture of your disgrace and Jiwoo is waiting you there remember? Sooyoung is waiting for me as well.”

 

“This is really needed?”

 

“I wouldn’t let this pass for nothing!”

 

“Hey guys! Nice game.” Jinsoul said, but stopped as Jungeun just glared at her. She touched her neck, just to see if it wasn’t already in pieces, because Jungeun looked so ready to take it off her body. “I mean…”

 

“Save it.” Jungeun’s voice was so cold, that Jinsoul had her whole body shivering.

 

“Thank you, Jinsoul. I surely played really well, can’t say the same of your friend though.”

 

“Come on, it wasn’t anywhere fair. You just kept making faults on me all over.”

 

“You could’ve done the same, if just I wasn’t so fast, right? And look Jinsoulie, she just lost a bet and will have to buy me coffee.”

 

“Oh… _really_?” Jinsoul smirked and slightly pushed Jungeun’s shoulder.

 

“Jinsoulie? Do you guys have nicknames for each other now?” She asked, raising her eyebrows.

 

“Well… everyone knows that Heejin is Heekki, look at her! Such a cute little bunny.” Jinsoul couldn’t held herself and poked Heejin’s (or Heekki’s, whatever) cheeks.

 

Heejin just shrugged and nervously scratched her head.

 

“I don’t even want to know about this whole nickname thing, just please tell me you’re waiting until I shower and will go with me to the coffee. Don’t let me walk alone with this _person_ , please.”

 

“Sorry, my father just called. I better be going. But have a nice _date_ you two. Let me know when you’re official, alright?”

 

The blonde has to say that all the while running away, knowing that a tired Jungeun couldn’t follow her tracks. By her side, Heejin was just with her usual victorious smile that Jungeun wanted so bad to get rid out of her face.

 

“What?” She asked, suddenly going faster to the locker room to take a quick shower and change. So, they could be over with this coffee bet thing, it was just too much to be near Heejin for so long. Her stomach was already twitching its insides.

 

“Nothing, is just…” Was that a _blush_ on her cheeks? What would she be blushing for? “… you would look kind of cute all sweaty and messy, and pouting because you lost, if just you weren’t a completely asshole...”

 

“I wouldn’t be a completely asshole, if you could stop teasing me for half a second?” Jungeun was a bit too tired, fixing her ponytail as she spoke, to endorse herself in fighting against Heejin or seriously try to comprehend the social implications of what the girl just said.

 

“That would be _too_ boring, don’t you think?” Her voice was just like a whisper, way too husky for Jungeun to breathe properly, and she had to painfully watch as Heejin walked a bit faster. Because, _hell,_ she had to look back this one time giggling with that _sadist_ smirk covering her face.

 

Not to say, that Jungeun couldn’t even think about an answer. She could swear that she was about to lose her mind, hoping with all her will that it was her mind and composure only.

 

Not another bet.

 

She sure as hell wouldn’t want to go blonde, it would be too painful.

 

 _Oh,_ she wouldn’t want to kiss Heejin as well.

 

_Damn._


	2. Blooming In The Deep Darkness, Like a Flower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've said I'd try to update once a month, at least, but this chapter got a little bit too long. It's almost like two chapters in one, so let's pretend it didn't took me this much. I reviewed this one better too, but I apologize for mistakes that might've passed!
> 
> Also, I've made a series for oneshots in the same universe of this fic. So, keep an eye on that as well. 
> 
> Well, I'm very proud of this chapter. I hope you guys like it as well!

_ “You might want me, but don’t get pricked” _

 

There is one thing about her best friend, Jiwoo would usually infatuate herself in her last crush and disappear from Jungeun’s side until things come to an end. That happens very fast, most of the times, Jiwoo goes deep into “love” (passion, or whatever it is called) and even faster gets out of it. Not that she wouldn’t cry for a whole week and need tons of ice cream (she would, most definitely always), but then one day she could just wake up with her usual proud and eager smile as if she had long forgotten all the pain. Then, it was officially over, and they wouldn’t talk about it anymore. Soon enough, Jiwoo would find another crush and start the _loop_ all over again.

 

Sooyoung was hard to read, but Jungeun learned something about her in a blink. She was in love, _somehow_ (don’t judge her, Jiwoo was indeed a very lovable person, but she tends to have one-sided crushes all the time), for her best friend. This was the first announcement for something different to happen this time around. Instead of vanishing from her view, Jiwoo was closer than ever. Mentioning, though, that with Sooyoung by her side for most of their time. It was nice to have her around, _really_ , Jungeun could see how the girl had this catch on Jiwoo. Sooyoung was nice, easygoing and considerate of everyone around her. Not only she gave a lot of attention to Jiwoo, she always made sure to not let Jungeun uncomfortable around them as well. That’s the bare minimum, Jungeun knows, but people tend to even forget things that are so simple.

 

It worries her, it always does, but she has a good feeling towards Sooyoung.

 

This time could be different, it _should_ be, Jiwoo deserved.

 

That’s for sure.

 

“Okay, so tell me Jungeun, who would you date?” Sooyoung asked, earning a huge clumsy grin from her because she was, apparently, the only one that could avoid calling her by that stupid nickname.

 

“You mean, from _here_?” She returned, already looking for all the girls around the tables of the noisy cafeteria of their school.

 

“Yes, yes… have you ever thought about it?” Jiwoo was just by Sooyoung’s side, in front of Jungeun, still eating her lunch and pretending that she wasn’t paying that much of attention. But, of course, she was eager to know as well and never the one that could hide anything, Jungeun could tell that she was trying hard to suppress a smile. It was always hard for them to talk about those matters, like their friendship had some sort of barrier when it comes to that.

 

Maybe Sooyoung could help as she was a new face in her circle of friends, or Jungeun just felt a little less pressured around her. Sooyoung was older, she was kind, and, mostly, she wouldn’t take anything seriously.

 

_Right?_

 

The older, also, had those eagle eyes that Jungeun was sure that could pierce any soul. And probably caught a lie very fast, not that Jungeun couldn’t at least give it a _try_.

 

“Okay, hm… I don’t think that I’ve ever thought about it, but…” She was still rummaging her eyes around, until she had a glimpse of such an unpleasant view.

 

Heejin was in the very other edge of the cafeteria, far away from them, so she wasn’t expecting to spot her that easily. Well, she wasn’t expecting to see her at all (right?). Her eyes trembled and stopped for a little too long on the girl. The brunette seemed to be doing the very natural of talking to her friends, while eating her lunch. It seemed to be a light conversation, as the younger kept smiling all along with her friends. A lot. Jungeun didn’t noticed, but her right hand turned into a fist and she kept biting her lower lip for an unconscious reason. A totally _unknown_ reason. Also, it took her some seconds to realize that she stopped breathing for a while, until she blinked herself out of the spell.

 

Or whatever that was.

 

The fear of getting caught came rushing like a wave, because there was this uneasy shame crawling up on her chest, when she looked back at Sooyoung. Something about eyes that could pierce her soul, like she was the little prey of such a strong predator. She just felt very little with the sight of this shy smirk on her face (and was that a nod?), that made Jungeun start running her eyes towards that table again to spot something, _anything_ , that could save her from that certain misunderstanding. Catching yellow locks in the same direction, just by Heejin’s side, Jungeun was fast to make herself _clear_.

 

“That girl, _hm,_ Chaewon?” She asked, more to herself than to her friends.

 

“Chaewon?” Sooyoung’s deep voice sent shivers directly to her spine, as if she could easily detect her despair. But, it was not like she was lying… the implications of telling the whole truth were way too heavy for her to bear though.

 

And Chaewon’s kind of pretty, not that she had ever noticed before.

 

“Yeah, she is…” Just to be sure, Jungeun had to look one more time in her direction. Maybe she caught another glimpse on Heejin too, and had to catch her breath ( _damn, what was happening to her today?)_ , she had a different hairstyle that made her look so young and… “…very feminine, you know? I think that, if I was to like some girl, it has to be because she looks girly, right? Nothing against-…”

 

“You don’t need to explain yourself, I understand. It’s kind of my thing too, you know, I thought Jiwoo was really shy and not anywhere as loud as she is, at first.” Sooyoung said and turned to Jiwoo as fast as she could, seeing the pout forming on her lips. “Hey, don’t worry, I like your noisy side too.”

 

“ _Ew._ ”

 

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean in a se-… _God._ Just, forget I’ve said that.” The older had to hide her face between her hands, because that was _something_ . Jiwoo just turned into a whole mess as well, lightly whining when even her neck was glistening in red. “Anything _else_?”

 

“No, I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

 

“Nothing, is just that I’m a little bit curious. There’s, like, a bunch of girls around crushing on you, and now that we’re hanging out more, they come asking if you’re down to it.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“At the very least, half of this school has a crush on you. Did you forget the tons of letters you’ve got for valentine’s last year? Your girl crush game is so strong and you don’t even like girls, what’s the point?” Jiwoo said this time and Jungeun blushed.

 

“Shut up! I don’t need to like girls, just because I have a little bit of a girl crush style.”

 

“ _Duh_ … I know, the thing is: You’re the one losing all the fun.”

 

She wasn’t losing anything, Jungeun thought, before getting up. Her friends followed her to their next class, and the conversation would be dead on them. Unless, it didn’t quite of died on her. When they were passing by Heejin and her friends, she watched how the brunette caught an eye on her this time. It was for a brief moment, as she seemed endorsed in a conversation with the girl in front of her. Jungeun didn’t dare to take a look on who it was, but she remembered about seeing the dark locks and even darker eyes surely staring at her (she avoided the best she could, because it made her very uncomfortable) when she was all the way back at her table.

 

The funny thing is that Heejin would always take the opportunity to call her, because Jungeun hated that annoying nickname. This time, however, there was no calling. Heejin remained still, looking at her for a second and then sighing before turning away. The smile she so had for her friends before wasn’t anywhere near as well. Jungeun felt herself small once again, all of a _sudden_ as if she really couldn’t picture the reason for it, so she lowered her eyes, all the while her head was sort of bouncing in denial (what was she even expecting?). She couldn’t be shaken because of that, _right?_ She should be happy, not being teased by the girl. But the way Heejin sighed and how her eyes just dropped.

 

Jungeun wondered if something happened.

 

She wondered if Heejin was feeling _sad_.

 

Or, she wondered why Heejin couldn’t keep the previously smile for _her._

  


(…)  


 

The world was on mute for her, all the songs being muffled by the water encircling her body. Her lungs were already screaming for air, her chest going back and forth frantically but she was still holding on. Just in front of her was her rival, seeming unbothered while Jungeun wondered _why_ or _how._ She was so damn weak, they had barely started, and she was already on the verge of giving up. The golden locks of the figure in front of her were God-like, her friend seriously looked like a mermaid. A whole entity all opposed to what her friend _really_ looked like outside of the water, Jinsoul was usually such a nice looking, well-mannered dork little puppy. That surely had to come with a warning, telling the danger if submerged on water.

 

A few days ago, Jungeun read somewhere about the _blue betta._ It’s a small and elegant looking fish, that has an aggressive and territorial behavior, and this reminded her so much of her friend (not the _small_ part though). The waters were her place, her house, and just like the pretty little _blue betta_ , Jungeun was sure that Jinsoul could just _swallow_ any of the unpleasant guests in her waters. She felt like a guest in _her_ water indeed. Smaller fishes, of the likes of Jungeun herself, wouldn’t stand a chance and even the bigger ones could have a difficult fight, against a fish that was so well adapted to troubled waters.

 

Jinsoul wasn’t only adapted to troubled waters, she was well fitted to survive with the lacking oxygen. She could breathe inside of the waters, which is usual for a fish, but she could also get a little bit of oxygen directly from the air. Even being easy like that, whatsoever, why Jinsoul felt way breathless when looking at _her_?

 

She couldn’t tell, she wasn’t one to give much thoughts on that as well.

 

And Jungeun… she wouldn’t _know_.

 

“I won again.” Jinsoul said, after getting back to the surface, a dumb and tired smile on her face.

 

Her eyebrows arched in somewhat of an eight, or at least it is common acknowledge as that, this also known as Jinsoul’s favorite skill. She was very good at arching her eyebrows in many ways, as if she could have entire conversations like that.

 

Jungeun could only think of how dumb that is, and _cute_.

 

She fails to mention the cute part, she would only call as _Jinsoul’s dumb behavior again_.

 

“Shit, seriously? I couldn’t notice.”

 

“Yah! Are you buying me coffee?” She asked, a huge smirk on her lips, her face ethereal even with her wet hair all messily hanging on it.

 

“Fuck off!” Jungeun tossed water on her face. “I’m gonna drown you if you keep bringing that up, I lost a bet!”

 

“Are you ready to lose _our_ bet as well?”

 

“What about _never_?”

 

“Hey girls, are you done with the warm ups?” Their coach asked, a tall blonde woman probably in her 40’s that looked like Jinsoul’s mother (she must’ve been traded at birth, because she doesn’t look near as close to her mother as to their coach, _seriously_ ). She had to whistle after, and that _shit_ hurts everyone’s ears, so she could gather all the other swimmer’s attention. “We’re going on relays today, get out of the water everyone so we can start. First team’s up, apart from Jungeun… you’re going with the substitutes today.”

 

“What? Why teacher?” She asked going for the pool’s border, Jinsoul being left behind to talk with some members of the first team.

 

Heejin among them.

 

“We’re starting on the 100m relay and I don’t think you can be on the first team for that, the tournament is weeks ahead, but we need to settle it already.”

 

“Am I that bad in short races?” She asked when heading out of the water, staying by her coach side.

 

“Not that bad, but I don’t have enough people for the long ones. I’m going to mix some of you, so we can still guarantee solid results in both team and individual tournaments, without getting you all too tired. It’s a way to prevent injuries at the same time.”

 

“I see.” Jungeun said, her eyes on the students getting set on the outside border of the pool. Eight members, one in each part of the pool, ready to start. Jinsoul was in the fourth row, with Heejin next by her in the fifty row. The very best ones. “Are you cutting Heejin from the long relays, then?”

 

“She’s actually improving her sustain, but she asked to be included only for the short races. I’ve tried to make up her mind, but she’s kind of stubborn just like you.”

 

“I’m not stub-…”

 

“Part of your warm ups are either racing Jinsoul our seeing who can dive for longer, by the way I’ve already said to cut that off, it’s dangerous. So, don’t tell me you’re not stubborn. I’ve yet to meet someone that can beat you, and Heejin’s getting herself a close call.”

 

“Ouch, teacher…”

 

“The truth hurts… Now, go settle herself in the fifty row already, you’re going next after them with the second team.”

 

Only nodding back to her coach, Jungeun decided to follow her instructions without much more talking. She was a nice lady, but not if bothered. It was better not risking it, even if implied that she had to remain next to Heejin before her race started. The girl was there stretching her muscles, having a little chit-chat with Jinsoul and the other members around. Jungeun tried to keep looking at the celling, the water, or anything inside the gym in an attempt to avoid all the girls in their swimsuits. Not that is troublesome, but always felt kind of _weird_ . They were all girls, _okay_ , and it was _normal_ , but she wouldn’t ever get used to it. She just wasn’t someone to be comfortable around anyone with too much skin showing, not one to have her own skin showing that much around _anyone_ too.

 

She was _shy_ , that’s all Jungeun thinks about it.

 

Nothing strange about that.

 

“Hey, coach is mad at you or something?” Jinsoul asked, gaining her attention just a little before she could greet Heejin. “Was it because we’re diving again?”

 

“No, she’s mixing the relays a little. She doesn’t have enough people for long races, so probably I won’t make it to the short relays for the team.”

 

“You’re not good in those, anyway.” Heejin spoke, Jinsoul followed laughing after and Jungeun wasn’t even mad, it was good to hear her voice for the first time in the day.

 

_The hell?_

 

“You’re not good in the longer ones too, so shut up.”

 

“Make me.” Heejin scoffed and Jungeun was so sure to be a banter, but why did she had to say that?

 

_Does she even know what she’s implying?_

 

“Okay girls, take your places, we don’t have the whole afternoon!” Their coach shouted, and the members of the first team went to their places, Jungeun still kindly frozen in her spot. Jinsoul unaware, _God was kind_ , of _that_ part of their conversation. “Ready?”

 

“Hey, take a look if you want to know how to swim properly.” Heejin said, looking back without changing her position, and diving in the water after their coach’s whistle.

 

Jungeun rolled her eyes, but of course she would pay attention to the first team race. It was impressive, watching just how graciously Jinsoul had a head start. Her diving was the longest and she also breathed better than the others, her aerodynamics were too out of their leagues as she was the tallest member of the team. Heejin, in the other hand, had terrible feet work and her start was rather decent. Nothing much, she was falling back at fourth when they touched the 50m wall and turned back. But then, her turning went just spectacular, she was even able to beat Jinsoul for most time inside the water, alongside with her fast turning. She caught up with her feet as well, getting a slower rhythm, but one that matched her somewhat strong (or, you could say very fast) arms better.

 

There were three rows apparently tied, after the 25m back, but Jungeun couldn’t tell who went down for the win as she had to dive in for her turn when they got close enough. She had a poor start, her feet swinging too much in the air, but nothing able to totally ruin her race. Her problem with the short races was matching her breathing, so she decided to go for _no-breathing_ at her best. Compared to Jinsoul, she wasn’t good at being without oxygen, but in general, compared to other _humans_ , she was very skilled at it. If it wasn’t for this, she wouldn’t be able to compete in long races. For her, this _no-breathing_ tactic turned messy in a short race like this one, but only because she wasn’t seeing how much faster she could be going.

 

The only thought in her mind was winning, at any cost, so she could have something to brag about. Or to match, at its least. If Heejin wanted to have her mouth shut, then Jungeun would _gladly_ make her best effort for it. She couldn’t think about her feet pace, or hands alignment, breathing, or even if she was going in a straight line, her only thought was _I’m going to shut her mouth_.

 

Jungeun was going to shut that _damn_ _pretty_ mouth of hers.

 

(…)

 

“The coach is so going to review your participation in short races, if you keep doing like that.” Jinsoul said, after getting a sip of her green tea smoothie.

 

“It’s not that she doesn’t want me in the short relays, she wants me to rest properly and avoid injuries.” Jungeun answered.

 

“She’s not doing that with me, though.”

 

“You’re literally a fish, and she knows you gonna riot. She told me that Heejin asked to be out of the long ones as well.”

 

“Speaking of which, have you seen her face? She was totally speechless.”

 

The memory of the brunette scoffing so hard and ignoring Jungeun for her living, also trying to back off when Jungeun reached for her elbow and ending up tripping on her own feet (Jungeun had to save her from falling, their faces getting so close she actually drowned herself on that mole Heejin has down her left eye) saying a _Who’s gonna teach who?_ , was very fresh on Jungeun’s mind.

 

The up-close vision of her mole as well, it was very symmetrical somehow and, _actually_ , Jungeun was only trying to pursue for a word (or sentence) other than _pretty cute_ to avoid the self-shame of liking something coming from Heejin.

 

By the way, she wouldn’t let herself forget that sight.

 

It was haunting her mind, a tiny ghost peaking on the corner for now.

 

“That was some pretty good view.” She answered, taking a huge bite on her sandwich, the water always left her starving.

 

“Whipped.”

 

“Stop.”

 

“Fine… Oh, _hey_ , look who’s here!” Jinsoul greeted as she stood up, fast to envelop her friend in a warm hug. “How are you doing?”

 

“What’s up? I’m fine. Hi again Jungeun.” She just waved to Sooyoung, as she was chewing a huge bite from her _perfect_ (she was just hungry, a brick would’ve been perfect too) tuna sandwich.

 

“Come on, sit here with us.” Jinsoul offered.

 

“Just gonna place my order, be right back.”

 

After finishing her bite, _just in case_ , Jungeun looked back at the entrance to know if there was no other student coming around with Sooyoung. There was no one and she realized that for the whole _week_ , Heejin hasn’t been around Sooyoung that much. Which was _totally_ fine, she had to endure her for such a long time already for the clubs they were together. There were more people around the coffee, of course, some students that Jungeun could recognize, a few hanging out with their boyfriends (usually some boys from the other school nearby, the coffee was a place for some blind dates as well, Jungeun tried before), and also some guys with their friends alone, but none of them _mattered_ for her.

 

“What are you doing around here?” Jungeun asked, when Sooyoung sat by them.

 

“Just got off school, I was helping out at the library.” Soon like that her name was called, still in the middle of her talking, so she went to grab her vanilla latte.

 

Apart from Jungeun and her 15cm sandwich, and Jinsoul with her whole set of chocolate brownies, Sooyoung didn’t order anything to eat. Something about not being hungry, because she didn’t have close to two hours of swimming training in the afternoon. Or maybe, because Heejin went out of the pools and directly to study in the library never forgetting to share her chocolate bars, or cereal bars, cookies, or simply anything she had with her. Sooyoung would deny it, politely, but Heejin always made that cute puppy face (she keeps that one for the hardest moments) that not even Sooyoung could say no to her.

 

Heejin was tearing up her diet already, but she wasn’t mad.

 

“Oh… how was it?”

 

“Well, _hm,_ silent? I don’t know, just organizing a bunch of new books.” Sooyoung said looking at her cellphone, after the first sip on her latte (realizing it was still a little bit too hot for her), a smile coming to her face as she started typing a message. “Are you guys free this Saturday?”

 

“Mayhaps.” Jinsoul answered, Jungeun followed silently with a nod (she wasn’t done with her sandwich, notice that she fast ate the first parts and now she was already feeling full).

 

“Why?”

 

“My parents won’t be at home for the weekend, so I was thinking about a small party? What do you think? Oh, and by _you_ I mean only Jinsoul, because you’re coming either way Jungeun. I _need_ you there.”

 

“What? _Why?_ ”

 

“Jiwoo’s just going if you’re going, so _you’re_ going.”

 

“What if my parents don’t allow me? Hello?” And, of course, _what if she doesn’t want to go?_ Jungeun wasn’t very fond of parties at that age.

 

“Just say you’re going for a sleepover? I mean, it’s basically that with the addition of alcohol? I’m not inviting many people either, just want to hang out with my friends and to enjoy my girlfriend a little?”

 

“Wait… are you guys official?”

 

“Not… _yet?_ I was actually meaning to talk with you.” Sooyoung looked over Jungeun and went to search something on her phone. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to give her…”

 

“Don’t tell me you’re a bottom Sooyoung, don’t kill people’s fantasies!”

 

“Shut the fuck up, what the hell Jinsoul! I’m not even-…” She rolled her eyes, stopping herself from saying something she probably _shouldn’t_ , letting a smile to cover her face again seconds after when she found the right picture. “Here, take a look since you’re her best friend, what do you think?”

 

“ _Woah…_ really? She _loves_ penguins, but isn’t this too much? I mean, wasn’t too expensive?” Jungeun asked, passing the phone to Jinsoul, after just taking one more look at the silver necklace.

 

“Last year I’ve worked part-time correcting some exams, so I had a few savings. And I really want her to see that I’m serious about us? There’s so many rumors about me going around, I don’t want her to have any reason to think that I’m just playing or whatever with her… you know?”

 

“Look, if there’s something you don’t have to worry is about any rumors. She won’t ever think about believing on them, if you just tell her the truth. She’s always ready to listen, so just talk to her if something comes up and she’ll surely understand.”

 

“Gotta work on _that._ The talking part, I mean.” A blush came to Sooyoung’s face and Jinsoul returned her phone, after a lot of teasing and some praising for her good taste. “We haven’t been talking _much_ , that’s why I want to meet her at the weekend so bad…”

 

“But you guys are always together?” Jungeun asked, at least in the school, they were always together for the past couple of weeks.

 

“Yeah… but apart from the school’s breaks, when we go out we’re mostly _kissing…_ like, a lot?”

 

“Oh, _my…_ Please spare us from the details.”

 

“We need to settle this up: We’re not having _sex_ , okay?”

 

“That’s unexpected.”

 

“Stop embarrassing me, Jinsoul? Pretty please? You know what, you better not come Saturday if you plan to embarrass me in front of Jiwoo.”

 

“I wouldn’t do _that._ ”

 

“You would, _definitely_ , do just that. However, the only thing that matters is you Jungeun. So, Saturday?”

 

(…)

 

“You talk with my parents, I’m not doing that.”

 

“Fine, be right back!”

 

“Not _now_ Jiwoo!” Jungeun said pulling her by the collar. “They aren’t even home yet, I think they’ll be here just around dinner time?” She said, after realizing that her mother wasn’t anywhere near and having some memory snaps from a previous conversation with her in the morning.

 

Jungeun was too sleepy to be sure that it wasn’t a dream, but she found a note in the fridge later.

 

“How long until Sooyoung comes?” She asked, getting their bags to her room, because of course that Jiwoo would literally throw her things down before taking off her shoes and running to the kitchen to look for some dessert.

 

Jungeun’s mother was very skilled at the kitchen, so often they had homemade cakes or anything sweet.

 

“I don’t know!” Jiwoo screamed in response, so Jungeun could listen to her, all the while finding something inside the fridge. “Hey, can I ea-…”

 

“Yes, you can. Just pray it isn’t already rot, I guess, and pass me a bottle of water.”

 

“Here miss.”

 

“Ask Sooyoung what time she’ll come, please? I want to know if we can start doing the homework already, or if we’ll have to wait until we come back.”

 

“Yeah… yeah… wait a second.” Her friend answered already taking a bite on the strawberry cake they’ve had. “Oh, but… it’s Friday! There’s no such thing as worrying about the homework, come on.”

 

“If we’re going out tomorrow, is better if we start the homework today?”

 

“Sundays are the officials homework days, please?”

 

“A few parents will come over, I don’t know if I’ll have much time.”

 

“We have so many things to talk today.” She kept pleading punching Jungeun’s sides.

 

“Let’s see, okay? I’m gonna change, be right back.”

 

Spring season barely started, but Jungeun was already afraid of the weather. She wasn’t very fond of the heat, fortunately the early stages of the season weren’t that hot (at least not yet) and spring break was just a month away, so nothing to worry for now. She went directly for her favorite high-waisted black nylon shorts, with two pockets in the front so she could carry her cellphone and house keys easily as they would probably go for a walk with Sooyoung. For her top, she went simply to a white plain shirt and a brown pattern flannel just to be sure that she wouldn’t have problems if they took so long and the weather starts to get colder.

 

Jiwoo entered her room when she was already putting her favorite white all-stars, wearing long socks (that reached the middle half of her shin) in the same color. Her friend left a soft gasp, which she responded with a _You’re gay_ , before sitting down on the bed next to her.

 

“Can we have Heejin tagging along?”

 

“Hm… how about no?”

 

“Please? Hyunjin invited them for her basketball game, with her friends, down to her block? Heejin is going anyway. So…”

 

“What are we going to do in a basketball game? I don’t even know how to play it.”

 

“We’re not playing, let’s just hang around and eat ice cream! There’s a grocery store nearby too.”

 

“Fine… but Heejin coming _here_?”

 

“Just so she can leave her things with Sooyoung’s?”

 

“And coming back _here_?” Jungeun was all about denying, but her friend had that sad little pout on her face. “You’re buying me an ice cream then.”

 

“I’m gonna be broke by the end of the year, if things keep going like that.” Jiwoo said, but the smile was wide in her face.

 

“Probably, yes, and I do _not_ care.”

 

“Can I borrow that green tank-top then?”

 

“You’re already looking for it.” Jungeun said, seeing as Jiwoo was going around her wardrobe.

 

“Skirts or shorts? Oh, and I think they’re leaving the library soon, they’ll be here in half an hour or so.”

“If we’re going to watch the game in the bleachers, shorts are the safest way around.”

 

“Good, I’ll take those ripped shorts too then.” She said, starting to undress, Jungeun politely looked at the window and then her cellphone so she wouldn’t pay attention to her friend’s body.

 

She should be used to it by now.

 

She wasn’t.

 

“Just be sure to not spill ice cream on those, they’re one of my favorites.”

 

“Don’t worry.”

 

“I do _worry_ when it comes to you Jiwoo, you have a long list of stained clothes.”

 

“Hey! My mom is bad at doing laundry, she’s the one getting my clothes stained I swear!” Jungeun just laughed. “Do I look okay?”

 

“More than okay.”

 

“Sooyoung’s gonna like it?”

 

“She will, or I’ll beat her ass.”

 

“Thank you.” Jiwoo said, sitting by Jungeun and laying her head on top of her shoulder.

 

A heavy sigh that left her mouth didn’t pass by unnoticed.

“Is everything all right?”

 

“Yes.” She could watch the smile growing up in Jiwoo’s face from the mirror on her wardrobe, that was in front of them. “She’s really nice.”

 

“She must be, I swear that I’ll beat her if she hurts you. No one hurts my friend.” Jiwoo’s smile just got wider, she loved it, she _really_ loved it when Jungeun showed how much she cared.

 

It happened only in rare occasions, though, spoken in the blue like that. She’s usually one to not voice her feelings away, keeping them to herself, expressing in simple acts like protecting her friends by force if needed. Jiwoo lost count of how many friends Jungeun lost, just because she was bitter that they’ve done any little thing that got Jiwoo upset. When Jiwoo herself never really bothered even when people were being mean to her. She was glad that Jungeun did, that helped her to learn how to say _no_ for a lot of things she couldn’t before.

 

“She said that she got me something, for Saturday. I’m so-… I know it’s tomorrow, but I’m dying to know what it is.”

 

Jungeun decided to remain quiet, just lightly smiling to her friend’s reflection before she could bite her tongue and say that she just had an _idea_ of the surprise, reminding of the conversation they’ve had in the wednesday.

 

“It will be okay for you? Sooyoung said that she can hook you up with some friend’s brother, or something. If you don’t want to be stuck with a bunch of drunk girls trying to kiss you.”

 

“I’ve been stuck with you for years, I think I know how to handle myself.”

 

“Yah!”

 

“Am I lying though? You’ve tried to kiss me so many times, and I’m sure you’re more determined than a whole crowd, if I was able to avoid you, I can avoid anybody.”

 

“I’m weak, okay? And your lips are very kissable.”

 

“You tell me this almost every day. But, seriously, don’t worry. I’m not looking to go out with anyone right now. I just want to hang out with my friends.”

 

“That’s great, but it could be better if you decided to kiss some girl. Heejin’s _probably_ single, by the way.”

 

“There you go and there you shall _stop._ ”

 

“It’s always worth to try, double meaning intended.” Jiwoo said, looking at her phone. “Come on, I think they’re here.”

 

There was one thing, that would cross Jungeun’s mind from time to time. The said thing was standing in front of her, a little blurred because Sooyoung was taller and before her at the door, but _yet_. There it was Jeon Heejin standing in front of her door, something that Jungeun never thought that could _ever_ have even a slight chance to happen. She was still wearing her school’s uniform, the gray skirt and the white blouse, her hair was parted in the middle falling on her shoulders and her eyes were light-brown, _almost_ yellow, because the sun was touching her face.

 

Maybe, after holding her glare fixed in her eyes for more than a second, Jungeun kept her eyes too long on her Russian-like nose and her pinkish glowing lips. She laughed when she realized what she was doing, earning a smirk back at her direction. Heejin made her way inside without words, or maybe with a soft _can I come in?_ that Jungeun didn’t accomplished (she nodded a _yes_ without noticing, too), when Sooyoung finally gave her space after hugging Jiwoo for a couple of seconds.

 

“Heejin!” Jiwoo tossed herself on the girl, enveloping her in a tight hug.

 

“Hey.” Sooyoung turned to Jungeun, kicking her feet on the way, so she could get her attention. “Go greet Heejin first.” She said, pinching Jungeun’s side so she would move.

 

Their greeting was a failure, some weird _hi_ and _hello, welcome, please get yourself comfortable_ , that made Sooyoung just laugh at Jungeun’s back before getting her attention again.

 

“Why are you guys so weird with each other?” She whispered, so only Jungeun could hear, when Jiwoo was closing the entrance door and animatedly talking with Heejin about the strawberry cake she had earlier.

 

She did not ask Jungeun, if she could just get another piece and share with Heejin, but she did it anyway.

 

Sooyoung and Jungeun went directly to her room, so the older could change her clothes. She was about to leave the later to change alone, but Sooyoung insisted to talk with her before she could do it.

 

“So, how about tomorrow? Is everything set?”

 

“Jiwoo’s gonna do the talking with my parents, but they always say _yes_ to her. So, _yes_ , everything’s set.”

 

“Great.” She sighed in relief. “I’m kind of nervous, had to bite my tongue and stop myself from giving her the necklace already.”

 

_Same_ , Jungeun could’ve say it.

 

“Never knew Ha Sooyoung was this cute.” Jungeun said instead, as the older was almost ready wearing a burgundy turtleneck tank top and leggings. She had no problem changing in front of others, Jungeun could tell, while trying her best to avert her eyes.

 

“I am not cute, take that back!”

 

“Don’t give me this look, holy shit you’re scary. Stop!” Jungeun asked again, as Sooyoung made her way towards her.

 

“Just kidding, come on. And hey, I’m really glad that you’re coming tomorrow. Thank you, really.”

 

“It’s okay, don’t worry.”

 

“Oh, and by the way, I don’t know if Jiwoo told you, but I can definitely get a handsome guy for you to hook up with. There’s this younger brother of one-”

 

“Nah, I’m fine.”

 

“Sure thing?”

 

“Yeah, I don’t need any drama for now and that’s all I ever get with boys.”

 

“Oh, you say that because you don’t go out with girls. The drama is a hundred of times bigger, but a thousand of times worth it.”

 

“Jiwoo keeps telling me _that_.”

 

“She’s right and, _well_ , maybe tomorrow can be the day for you to lose it up a little? Chaewon’s gonna be there.”

 

“I-…”

 

“Well, Olivia is going to be there too, but she won’t stay much I think. Hyunjin always get her home early.” Jungeun failed to listen when Sooyoung added one _You can find someone else too_ , while looking at the kitchen.

 

“I forgot that they’re cousins.”

 

“Well, they never hang around school together, I don’t blame you.”

 

“But what’s the problem of Olivia being around?” Not that she was minding about Chaewon at all, but she grew curious over Olivia in the past weeks.

 

The girl was such a puzzle for everyone, getting attention from a lot of seniors even if she was still a middle-schooler. There was the fact that she was used to get in trouble every week or so, to add on top of that, like the time with Vivi. About Chaewon, not that she looked like one, but she was also a high-schooler like them, in her first year like Heejin and Hyunjin. Jungeun and Jiwoo were on their second year, Jinsoul and Sooyoung were getting ready to graduate by the summer among with the chord leader Haseul (also the student’s council president).

 

“She’s kind of protective towards Chaewon? Like, really protective, it’s not very healthy to try and approach her when Olivia’s around.”

 

“Is that something from their family? I mean, Hyunjin is overly protective around Heejin as well.”

 

Sooyoung chuckled, before giving a thumbs up seeing that Jiwoo and Heejin were making their way towards the room. Yes, the door was open all along and Jiwoo maybe fainted (something about not being able to take her eyes off Sooyoung when she was changing clothes) whilst waiting Heejin to get out of the bathroom (she changed her clothes after getting a bite of the cake) and that’s why everything was so silent from their side.

 

“Are you guys ready?”

 

Jungeun pulled herself out of the bed in a blink, standing stunned when seeing Heejin in her casual clothes. It was nothing out of the ordinary, _really_ , but something crept all over her spine that she rushed to get on her feet without even knowing her next step. So, she literally remained standing motionless for half a minute. Heejin was just wearing a plain black sweater, showing her collarbones for the wide oval collar, tucked inside her jeans shorts in the front. Nothing out of the ordinary (see?), but she was with her glasses on this time. Not a rare thing when she’s out of the school, but something that Jungeun wasn’t very used to it (they aren’t used to see each other after the school, that’s probably the second time around).

 

The round glasses looked good on her, she wonders why Heejin usually wears lenses in the school though.

 

“Wake up.” Sooyoung clapped her hands in front of Jungeun.

 

“Yes, yes, let’s go.” Jungeun said, not daring to look up to Heejin again, too embarrassed with herself.

 

“Hey, take care with the stare game around Hyunjin.” Sooyoung whispered taking her front.

 

“I wasn’t-…”

 

“Save it.”

 

_Fuck._

 

(…)

 

The road was silent in the first minutes, Heejin wasn’t talkative like the last time they’ve met and Jungeun remained closer to the couple. Meanwhile, Heejin was more endorsed in her cellphone than on her surroundings, but that could be mainly Jungeun’s fault. Or, she felt guilty for it by staying next to the couple and interacting with them. But it was too hard to approach Heejin, if she was distant like that. Jungeun just couldn’t find a way to start a conversation, even if she wanted.

 

She didn’t, then.

 

Fifteen minutes felt like two hours long, when Heejin _finally_ came to her side their eyes met in a haze before she latched their arms (they’ve bumped their shoulders first, for a couple of times, just for the teasing), the anxiety still showing on her trembling hands. She kept her hands inside the pockets of her shorts, so Heejin wouldn’t see, Jungeun felt at ease then.

 

Heejin looked back at the way in front of them, so she mirrored, meeting Sooyoung’s eyes a while after, looking at their linked arms. She ignored the wink that followed, hoping that Heejin couldn’t catch eye on that, and attempting to hide her blush letting her hand in front of her face for a short while, descending on it until as she hummed to a half forgotten song.

 

“Listen…” Jungeun asked, getting Heejin’s full attention for once. “Is this our second date?” Her voice barely breaking the point of a whisper, fearing that dragging her tone higher could shatter the thin and unseen veil circling them.

 

A veil full of anticipation, fear, and something _else_.

 

She got what she wanted, though, a smile from the younger.

 

The one she missed on Wednesday.

 

“We followed the no kiss in the first date rule, then.” She felt her shoulders losing its heaviness, a lot less tense then before, maybe they could surpass that veil without breaking anything apart. “Do we get to kiss now?” Heejin asks and she couldn’t feel the weight of the question, too lost for paying that much of attention to her words.

 

The sound of Heejin’s voice was way too soothing, an anxiety breaker after the excruciating amount of time they’ve been walking on silence. Jungeun cackles and then snorts in the middle of it, hard, also nervous without knowing what to answer.

 

So, she doesn’t.

 

And Heejin doesn’t mind, already expecting the silence that followed, but this time not oblivious to it. She couldn’t think about anything else to say, as well, instead moving her feet in front of Jungeun’s and almost getting her to trip. Though it wasn’t a good idea, when Jungeun was way stronger and got hold of her sides until her back almost reached the floor, only to put her back up to a season of tickles. They ran out of breath shortly, releasing their arms and running around trying to catch each other again, among shouting and using either Jiwoo or Sooyoung to block their way.

 

It was gone, the momentary fun they were having.

 

Jungeun wouldn’t remember that she was supposed to hate Heejin, not until they’ve reached the basketball court and Hyunjin was there waiting for them. The way Heejin just detached from her arm and went literally running to hug her, it made Jungeun’s smile fade for good and that afternoon such a waste of her time. And she wasn’t good at hiding it, so she went to the bleachers after a wave to Hyunjin’s (and Heejin’s) direction without giving it a second thought.

 

The veil was there again, this time thicker, overwhelming, enveloping her throat as her heart kept clenching inside her chest. She doesn’t know this feeling, but she surely doesn’t like it. The pressure inside her chest, the air going out of her lungs to never comeback, this feeling of being trapped in a hug so tight she couldn’t _breathe…_

 

She doesn’t like it, at all.

 

Her eyes still following them, how they were all smiles, how their arms kept bumping, or how their hands traced their sides, along their arms, shoulders, or simply how Hyunjin wasn’t afraid to go into her personal space when Jungeun could only wait for anything to happen (like she did when Heejin linked arms with her). How Hyunjin could _hug_ her countless of times in the same minute, in a simple act of hovering her arms on top of the girl’s shoulder.

 

It was _not_ like Jungeun wanted a hug, in the first place. But, _damn_ , why does that hurt?

 

“You fine?” Jiwoo asked, leaving Sooyoung and Heejin behind her. They were already making their way to the bleachers as well, as Hyunjin’s game was starting in the court.

 

“The sun’s too hot.” She lied, there was no way she could voice everything happening to her insides.

 

Not now, hopefully never.

 

Whatever was happening to her, it shouldn’t last long.

 

“You’re wrong.” Heejin said, sitting next to her. “This is our third.”

 

“What are you even talking about?” Jungeun flinches, not in the mood to whatever was passing inside the girl’s head.

 

It was easy to take a guess, but her mind was blurred.

 

“We don’t have to wait for Hyunjin, right? Can we get our ice creams already?” Jiwoo asked, more pleading for it.

 

“There’s a bookstore nearby, I want to get a new sudoku book, can we go there first?” Jungeun was nearly lost, trying to keep track of the conversation, not knowing what to address. Jiwoo and Sooyoung were debating, probably whining about how tired they were, and the bookstore was in the other street, but everything came muffled because Heejin wasn’t paying attention to them as well and went back to her saying —“Come with me?” already touching her hand and Jungeun’s breath just hitched, her voice so low that the older wondered if she was indeed hearing it or only making that up in her mind.

 

It didn’t help that their faces were so close.

 

“Why would I?” She asked back, pretending that she wasn’t giving a single thought about their proximity, as if it didn’t matter, as if she wasn’t so _damn_ lost in that daze the girl somewhat got her into, voice in the same low tone and eyes pierced on Heejin, following her now shaking brown orbs.

 

“I’d like some company.” Heejin answers, a wide playful smile on her lips.

 

Her smile drops a second after, when Jungeun opens her mouth again.

 

“Why don’t you go ask Hyunjin then?”

 

In the moment she speaks, Jungeun already realized that she took a bad turn, seeing as not only Heejin stood still but even her friends stopped talking all of a sudden. Now it was the younger searching in her eyes, for something Jungeun didn’t even knew about, for something that wouldn’t be there for her, not when the older shrugged and averted her eyes, her hand retreating from Heejin’s light touch as if she had the plague.

 

“Sorry…” Heejin finally spoke, definitely taken aback but not really looking upset. “… guess I forgot that you hated me, for a second.” Her head facing the floor, hair falling on her face hiding her expression.

 

Jungeun’s stomach dropped.

 

“Wait…”

 

“Don’t bother, I- I’ll just go by myself.”

 

Even though she was oblivious to it, Jungeun wondered how she could’ve messed up so bad to the point that Heejin’s voice breaks in the middle. The way the girl just turned as fast as she could, leaving them behind at the same hiding her face, it didn’t settle well for Jungeun. Her hands turned into fists, knuckles white from the pressure, and her heart was probably stuck at her throat due to how hard it was for her to swallow.

 

“Wait, I’ll go with you.” Jiwoo said, sparing one last disappointed look (she wasn’t dreaming, she knew Jiwoo’s expressions so well, she was seriously disappointed) to Jungeun before running to catch the younger.

 

Sooyoung just went to sit by her side.

 

“What?” She jolts, not anywhere pleased by Sooyoung’s glare towards her.

 

“Look, I don’t know what it’s running through your mind, but you can’t do that.”

 

“I didn’t do anything? I don’t know why she acted like that.”

 

Jungeun wasn’t one to like confrontations, mostly in situations like this when she felt so little next to Sooyoung. She wasn’t a kid, Heejin wasn’t a kid as well (she was seventeen by now, Jungeun just a year older), she didn’t need to get scolded for something so petty. Heejin wasn’t even there anymore, she was probably feeling herself at their way to the bookstore with Jiwoo having no hard feelings about that simple sentence.

 

So, what’s the reason behind this?

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Let me explain for you then, if you want to be an asshole. Then be an asshole. If you want to be nice, then be nice. Easy like that. Just don’t go being all nice, to turn into a total jerk after.”

 

Sooyoung had a way with words, everyone knew that, and she was also really good to make you feel like shit.

 

“I wasn’t?”

 

“Why did you have to bring Hyunjin’s name then?”

 

“She’s right there.” She pointed out with her hand, just now feeling the pain on her fingers.

 

“First, why would she come asking for _your_ company, if she was meant to ask Hyunjin? Also, Hyunjin’s playing right now.”

 

“Exactly! Heejin only wanted _my_ company, because she wasn’t available.”

 

“And why does it bother you?”

 

“It doesn’t!”

 

Why would it bother her? It wouldn’t bother her the slightest, no.

 

It couldn’t be bothering her right now, even though she had her eyes fixed on the basketball court where Hyunjin was gracefully playing. The girl was showing her way around all the boys, never minding their presence, never minding their looks, _never minding_ anything at all and just being a _goddess_ in the court.

 

Jungeun wasn’t _jealous_ , but she couldn’t name it any better.

 

“You know what? You’re not making any sense right now.”

 

Precisely, but that didn’t hurt any less hitting Jungeun right in the _spot_ she was avoiding. Because she wasn’t making sense for a reason, a reason that she wished to be oblivious about. She was starting to fail in her task, or maybe she was failing all along but only now was starting to show.

 

“I don’t really care, I’m just hanging out with her because she’s your friend.”

 

A lie.

 

“If is such a hard task to be nice to her you could’ve just told me, and I would’ve figured something else for us to do.”

 

“I don’t really _hate_ her, it’s not like that.”

 

What about not making any sense _again_?

 

“She doesn’t hate you either, if you haven’t figured it out yet. See, she was so happy that you two were having a good time earlier.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“It’s not like you’ve done something bad, actually, but think about how happy she was because you two were talking? You were being nice to her, and that’s very unusual let’s be honest, imagine how she was just expecting that you could have a nice afternoon together? Then you went back sounding so dry…”

 

“I-”

 

“Just think about that, okay?” Sooyoung said, a hand pressing on top of her shoulder. “Heejin’s kind of sensitive sometimes, and such a pain in the ass, but she’s also really nice.”

 

The afternoon wasn’t a total lost however, as much as they decided to follow their friend’s steps and head for the bookstore as well. Heejin wasn’t looking even a tiny bit upset, not when Jiwoo was right by her side. They were rummaging between the bookshelves, laughing and playing around. The seller wasn’t minding, thankfully, even if they were being so loud and soon them all went out to get their ice creams.

 

Jungeun made her goal to make up for whatever damage from earlier, not only carrying an apologetic smile but also helping Heejin around whenever she could. Mostly like carrying the books she bought at the store (so the younger could eat her ice cream at peace), even though Heejin insisted that it wasn’t necessary. Maybe that was when Jungeun realized their age and how she shouldn’t be so careless, because she was older (for a year, but nonetheless) and had to act like it.

 

Nothing to do with feelings and the heart she couldn’t swallow.

 

Her own heart troubling inside her throat, but the ice cream was a good distraction.

 

Or, eating her ice cream with such a breathtaking view in front of her was.

 

The early orange sunset touching Heejin’s face, her profile just by Jungeun’s side view and maybe her friends were distracted enough for her to snatch a picture with her cellphone. Heejin _definitely_ caught that in the middle and soon all the group was taking selfies, a lot of ice cream was spilled in the process but Jungeun’s shorts (only the one Jiwoo was wearing) were spared.

 

Not that she noticed until the next day.

 

(…)

 

Heejin will be there.

 

Jungeun knew that beforehand, or assumed at least, but it starts to hit her when she wakes up Saturday (Jiwoo still sleeping soundless by her side, saving from some random hums and sometimes sentences –that Jungeun fully ignores) and her mind starts to wonder about all the possible scenarios for the night. First thing is that she can’t picture anything apart from a chaotic endeavor at being sober, that wouldn’t work out since the begging and, therefore, would turn into a mess she couldn’t control. She was in the middle of accepting her drunk state, but not _anywhere_ near Heejin. Dealing with the younger in a drunk state was a very frightening thought to bear in such an early hour.

 

Or at any other time.

 

She might be making up scenarios, while looking at the pictures from the previous day. There is no shame about it, not when no one was able to see the smile she was trying to bite away. The whole afternoon ended up being nice, until Hyunjin got tired of playing and decided to unite with them, bringing along a friend that wouldn’t stop hitting on Jungeun. She couldn’t even remember his name, but sweaty boys really aren’t her thing at _all_ , so it didn’t matter (funny how Heejin on her football uniform comes to her mind and how her body always trembles at the thought, just like her legs do when she has the sight of it). He wasn’t so bad, she could tell that he was good looking besides all the sweat, but _really_ , she wasn’t in the mood.

 

The problem was that Jungeun’s rather talkative and when Heejin got herself busy with Hyunjin, she was trapped in a conversation with the boy for half an hour until her screaming eyes (shouting _help_ to her friends) finally got noticed and Sooyoung (her savior) made an excuse for her to leave his side. Some minutes after he went back to the court, failing to get Jungeun’s number (thank God she was able to find a way of denying subtly), to never show up again.

 

They left shortly after and she held Jiwoo’s hand all the way back to her house, because Sooyoung and Hyunjin got endorsed in a conversation about sports (Sooyoung made part of the school’s tracking team) that no one else cared about. Heejin had her arm linked to Hyunjin, even though she was drifting apart listening to some music and sparing some glances at Jiwoo and Jungeun from time to time. Her soft smile to them was ever so endearing, but also left a bitter taste on Jungeun’s mouth.

 

It was a really good afternoon, that she spent helping Heejin at her new sudoku book (the girl was suspicious of Jungeun’s capacity, and she wasn’t that good that’s right, but she made herself helpful) and they somewhat ended up sharing earphones as Heejin scrolled down her playlist. Her music taste left Jungeun amazed, by the way, which made her remember to search for that indie singer called Lucia. Not feeling like going up to get her earbuds into her drawer whatsoever, she couldn’t listen to her soothing voice now, but she would remind herself to do it later to have a better grasp at the lyrics.

 

Usually, at this time, Jungeun would have left her bed already but it felt wrong after successfully getting Jiwoo to do the homework in the night before. She only wished that she could either silence her mind, or dive back into sleep. But her mind said _hell to the no_ , so she just stood there having her friend pinned to her side view and laying there is when she remembers something even more disturbing.

 

They _exchanged numbers,_ and, by that, she means that taking Heejin’s phone from her hands happened, so she could type her number on it. Maybe the sun burned her brain or something, Jungeun wasn’t sure, but she never thought about it again until her phone buzzed in her hands almost falling on top of her head (gladly it didn’t, Jiwoo would be awaken if it did) and even though there was no introductions in the message, she was fast to save the contact name because it was way too obvious.

 

**[Heejin]:** _Just so you know, you’ve made a mistake and ruined one of my sudokus…_

 

Is not one of Jungeun’s skills, to hide the huge grin in her lips, so it’s hard to prevent the sound coming from her mouth. For a second, she’s cracking, but she snaps out of it fast with the realization of her friend still sleeping at her side.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _How about a good morning first?_

 

**[Heejin]:** _You don’t deserve it._

 

Not only once Jungeun sees herself looking at her side, having a peek to see if her friend was still asleep. She couldn’t let herself being “caught” doing something so simple, as talking with a friend, because Heejin wasn’t a friend in the first place.

 

She would never be.

 

They don’t hate each other, _no,_ that was a misunderstanding.

 

At this point, though, Jungeun was too afraid to ask (even to herself) what they really were.

 

Or what they could become.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _ouch…_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _Can you even prove that it was ~my~ mistake?_

 

**[Heejin]:** _i don’t need to prove it, i just KNOW_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _Shh… don’t scream at me, Jiwoo is still sleepin’_

 

**[Heejin]:** _oh_

 

**[Heejin]:** _i never knew_

 

**[Heejin]:** _is sooyoung ok with this?_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _STFU_

 

**[Heejin]:** _r u guys, perhaps… cuddlin’?_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _we_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _are_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _not_

 

**[Heejin]:** _DHASUIDSDJSIOADJ_

 

**[Heejin]:** _sooyoung would die to be at your spot anyway_

 

**[Heejin]:** _and she’d cuddle, like a proper human being_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _i’d cuddle with my gf too_

 

She didn’t add up, but there was an _if_ and a whole hidden _I’d ever fell in love with a girl._

 

**[Heejin]:** _oh_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _u got it_

 

**[Heejin]:** _yeah… i know ur into sweaty boys_

 

This was the very first time they’ve talked about anything related to their sexualities, and Jugeun’s heart clenches because she’s _oh_ so confused.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _maybe if u wasn’t so busy with lady cat, u’ve known that i wasn’t enjoyin’ his presence in the slightest_

 

Worst, the conversation comes way so easily.

 

**[Heejin]:** _u sure is not sweaty_

 

**[Heejin]:** _girls?_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _u’re gay_

 

It goes so easily as well.

 

**[Heejin]:** _thank u_

 

**[Heejin]:** _bi it’s more accurate tho_

 

It comes way too easily again.

 

**[Heejin]:** _so… sweaty animals?_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _sdhausdhsuadhasudhasudh_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _girl, wtf_

 

**[Heejin]:** _i respect the furries_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _I’m no lady cat, sorry to disappoint_

 

**[Heejin]:** _that’s actually a relief_

 

**[Heejin]:** _no homo_

 

It makes Jungeun struggle to keep hiding her laughter.

 

**[Heejin]:** _and I’m allergic to fur_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _u don’t have any pets then?_

So, yes, she tries for a change of topics.

**[Heejin]:** _oh, no, I do have a dog_

 

**[Heejin]:** _screw allergies_

 

**[Heejin]:** _wait, I have to get up_

 

**[Heejin]:** _nice talking to u, even tho r a furry anti_

 

**[Heejin]:** _u bet I’ll let Hyun know about it_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _hey, don’t do that, she’ll hate me_

 

**[Heejin]:** _it’s not like she doesn’t do alr_

 

Wait, _what_?

 

Jungeun failed to mention her entire conversation with Heejin, when Jiwoo woke up. Even if her friend kept asking why she wouldn’t let go of her phone all day, she dismissed simply saying that she was playing some games and made sure to never let Jiwoo anywhere close to her screen. Not that she stood the entire day exchanging texts with Heejin, but perhaps she knows now that Heejin has two older sisters at college and she got mad, because Jungeun must’ve known about that, everyone at school knows about that, Heejin wouldn’t stop talking about them (she felt lonely at their house now, as they’ve moved into dorms at their colleges and wouldn’t come back home often). Also, she knows now that Heejin learned Japanese at a young age, being now quite fluent, and she would kill Jungeun if she ever spread around that the main reason for her to learn was an anime she liked. She also said that one of her hobbies was drawing and Jungeun answered a short _cool_ , when she meant to ask her to draw her someday, and maybe Heejin was really a psychic because her answer was _maybe I’ll draw you someday_ to which Jungeun answered with an emoji.

 

She was bad at conversations, you could tell.

 

Luckily enough, Heejin was good at it. She kept talking non-stop about herself, and Jungeun couldn’t even be bothered because she was indeed funny? Nothing like that self-centered and annoyingly hard-working also boring _princess_ she seemed to be, and no Jungeun wouldn’t overthink about how she thought the girl looked like a princess. Not _now._ First of all, Heejin broke at least three glass cups in her house for the past week and that wasn’t the worst, her mother broke down four, so they were kind of in a competition. But, Heejin could only blame her clumsiness while her mother had a condition that made her lose the touch in her right arm from time to time. Second, Jungeun learned that Heejin was interested in ditching half of the clubs she was in, because they were all too boring and she only got in so many because that means less time she would be staying at her house to face the lack of her sisters (it helped to get into a college, as well). Third, she forgot why she was counting or minding those little things, but she was and maybe Jiwoo caught her laughing at her phone a few times.

 

Apart from being all day low-key texting Heejin, she had a long day trying to keep Jiwoo from a heart attack. The girl was pacing back and forth in the house, always asking for the hour, to know if it was time for them to get ready and be on their way to Sooyoung’s. She was definitely going _through it_ , ever after Sooyoung told her about the little surprise she prepared for their night. That only means that, by best friend solidarity, Jungeun was going through it as well and having a very stressful afternoon if it wasn’t for Heejin barging in to save her day. Not for once she asked herself, if Heejin would be able to save her night as well. But, very likely, she was going to be the reason of the chaos. Jungeun couldn’t take that off her mind, that she wouldn’t stand being sober for the night and being drunk around Heejin wasn’t something that she was looking up to.

 

They were the first ones to arrive at Sooyoung’s, of course, and after getting amazed by the expensive duplex she lived in, Jungeun settled her things at the guest’s rooms. That was her place for the night and looking at how there was two single beds in the room, she wondered if someone else would sleep there too. She didn’t dare to ask about it, though, because she had already too many troubling thoughts circling in her mind. Jungeun wouldn’t like to add yet another one of those by getting assured that Heejin was going to sleep there as well. There was this slight chance that Jinsoul could be the one, but for sure she would’ve told Jungeun by now, so she couldn’t think about anyone else apart from Heejin to be invited to sleep at Sooyoung’s house like her. She kept telling all week about how she usually throws this kind of parties, but always _shoo_ people away so she wouldn’t have to deal with other’s hangover in the morning. This rule wouldn’t possibly apply only to her soon to be official girlfriend Jiwoo, her girlfriend’s best friend Jungeun herself and her own best friend Jeon Heejin.

 

So, it was only a matter if Heejin would be needing to spend the night, in Jungeun’s mind.

 

And she wasn’t wrong.

 

The rest of the afternoon went pretty fast, they watched the new Spider-man movie (hand-picked by Jiwoo, that wouldn’t stop trying some of the moves and almost got her ankle sprained) in Sooyoung’s large living room before going to settle a playlist for the night. Sooyoung made sure to add the whole of Sunmi’s discography in the playlist, never minding if anyone would be against to it, but of course no one would dare because that was everyone’s queen we are talking about. Jiwoo, by the other hand, slipped through her western taste to get a whole ton of Ariana’s songs and Jungeun got herself a few girl groups songs no one else knew she liked. The other guests started to arrive not long after that, Haseul had to basically babysit her little sister Yeojin, but Jinsoul arrived only a few minutes later and it was nearly refreshing to everybody that Yeojin got herself busy with a friend around her age. Jinsoul was actually a few years older, but she had brought (to a party) her Gundam pieces to assemble, in her black backpack, so she was literally the same age as Yeojin mentally.

 

Maybe it helped that Jinsoul had a crush on Haseul for years, and seeing how much Haseul looked like she needed a little bit of rest got the best of her. For someone that was a natural sweetheart as Jinsoul, anyway, surely it would get the best of her. But, actually, she got endorsed by Yeojin’s little lightbulb where she kept her pet snail and, even though she pretended to be bored for a few times, they were getting along very well. Haseul kept asking if Yeojin wasn’t really bothering her, because the girl could really be a toll to anyone, but Jinsoul would only reply with a thumbs up from time to time. The blonde was pretty much replying with words at first, until Haseul started asking at every other second, so she got tired of saying the same _It’s okay, I swear, we’re having fun_ all over again.

 

Jungeun wasn’t the best at foreseeing things, not that she wouldn’t try, but Haseul’s heart eyes for her friend didn’t passed unnoticed and she was sure to let Jinsoul know about that before the end of the night. So maybe, just maybe, her dumbass friend could do something about it (if she wanted). She wasn’t that sure if Jinsoul’s crush on Haseul was something serious to begin with, though. If there was one thing to be serious, it definitely was how disgustingly cute they’d look together. But that was a talk for later, because Sooyoung decided that it was about time for them to start drinking to which no one complained. Even Haseul got a bottle of beer to share with Jinsoul when she went to make her company, just to ensure Yeojin wasn’t being too much of a bother, of course.

 

A whole group came in after, leaded by Yerim that was holding hands with her same aged friend Olivia now finally properly introduced to Jungeun. She was a little bit scary, but mostly because she was tall as Sooyoung and not because she was really that troublesome. Actually, she was rather shy than fierce as Jungeun could tell by their greeting and how she kept a strong grip on Yerim’s hand. Heejin was just behind them, her arm latched to a blonde girl in a ponytail that Jungeun soon realized to be Chaewon. They’ve greeted briefly, Chaewon very enthusiastically jumping out of Heejin’s grip and tossing her hair like a helicopter (only God knows why), and Jungeun couldn’t help but screech soundly. Heejin stopped in front of her and Jungeun was ready to say something, _anything_ , not that she could think about something coherent when seeing the girl’s innocent smile that close to her. There was something inside her stomach, bubbles flying around, asking her to speak soon. Before she could do so, she looked over Heejin’s shoulders and there was Hyunjin.

 

Even though Jungeun was aware that Hyunjin would be there too, she couldn’t help but feel her stomach drop at the sight.

 

The bubbles, or whatever that was taking flights inside her stomach, coming to a halt and falling over.

 

She forced a smile and asked them to come on in.

 

(…)

 

Sooyoung wasn’t lying when she said that it was a small gathering between friends, as Jungeun wasn’t meeting any new faces for real. She was very thankful for that, by the way, as she felt way more secure and comfortable around those girls. Maybe not when she meets Hyunjin’s gaze towards her, but she wouldn’t dwell on it. She wasn’t about to remind herself of the conversation she had with Heejin in the morning, because just the thought of Hyunjin disliking her sends shivers down her spine. Hyunjin never had the reputation of her younger cousin Olivia, but she wasn’t someone you’d like to mess with by just how athletic she was.  

 

The party was considered started only when Jiwoo went on top of one couch and called herself _Spider-Chuu_ , before trying to backflip only to end up falling on her butt. Her ankle was sprained for sure _now_ , if it wasn’t before, but she wouldn’t feel the pain until the next morning. Everybody stopped and laughed for two whole minutes, at the very least, before resuming their activities. Sooyoung helped Jiwoo to get up after, Jungeun’s friend launching herself to her arms pulling her to a corner so they could have some time for themselves. Jungeun raised her beer at their direction and Sooyoung mumbled a _I got her, don’t worry_ to which Jungeun only nodded before looking at everyone else in the living room.

 

Someone got some music videos and dance practices to run in the tv, so Yerim and Hyunjin were trying out some choreographies. She wondered how they could be that synchronized, when they’ve never danced together before (not that she was sure they didn’t), but soon got distracted by Olivia leaning on the floor to show a move that Jungeun never knew how didn’t got her neck broken. Her mouth opened in a huge ‘ _O’_ until she clapped and cheered for her, Olivia just got up as if nothing ever happened and Chaewon followed her steps to try the move as well.

 

She failed.

 

Jungeun wasn’t feeling drunk enough to try the move as well, so she left them behind to get herself another beer in the fridge. She stopped first to get a few more slices of the left-over pizzas on the top (the few remaining from their previous dinner) of the mini-bar’s table, soon to feel a body clashing on to hers and hands enveloping her belly.

 

“Jungeunming…” She heard her noisy friend, so unnecessarily screaming to her ear. “Sooyoung’s being mean…”

 

“What is she doing?” Jungeun asked turning to face her, Sooyoung at their side getting a slice of pizza too (also fixing her suddenly messy her) and just dismissing with her free hand.

 

“She’s not letting me drink anymore.” Jiwoo whined.

 

“Well, it looks like you’ve had enough already.” Sooyoung retorqued, to what Jungeun only nodded while trying to eat having Jiwoo clutching to her sides.

 

“One more sip of anything and she’ll be sleeping on the floor real fast.”

 

“I’m not even drunk!”

 

“You just went on top of the couch saying that you’re Spider-Chuu, then tried to back-…”

 

“I’m excited, okay?!”

 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m not letting you drink anymore. Just water.” Sooyoung said, handing her a bottle of water.

 

“ _Ew_ … I’m not drinking any of that!” She said slipping out of Jungeun’s embrace and running back towards the living room, screaming to Heejin and soon clashing with her in the couch.

 

“Please don’t give up on her.” Jungeun asked jokingly, Sooyoung had her eyes following Jiwoo still.

 

“She’s really something.” She answered, sipping on the water Jiwoo left. “I- is it gay if I say that your friend makes me happy?”

 

“Sorry to tell you, but yes.”

 

“Damn…” Both Sooyoung and Jungeun had their eyes to the living room where everyone else was, Olivia was reading towards the bathroom but still, and Sooyoung touched her right shoulder before speaking again. “Hey…” Her voice was only a faint whisper. “… are you feeling gay yet?”

 

“The- what?” She choked on her own saliva, reminding herself that before going to eat she was looking for another beer and that she had to do something about it.

 

“Just so I can set you up with one of the girls, you know? Nothing much.”

 

She laughed, the sound dying in her throat when she caught Heejin looking at their direction. She found her timing _oh so_ funny, for her to be staring like that, if only it wasn’t so _damn_ unnerving.

 

“At this point I’m pretty sure any of them would be glad to kiss you.”

 

“Jinsoul is only looking for Haseul today and Hyunjin hates me, so I wouldn’t bet on them.” Jungeun said frantically, not really minding the weight of her words, her thoughts easily coming through her mouth without any polishing.

 

“Hyunjin what?”

 

“Heejin kind of told me that she hates me, in the morning.” Again, she wouldn’t really say any of this in a proper state of mind, not that the alcohol was _really_ kicking in.

 

Not that Jungeun was noticing how it was subtly affecting her, though it could be all due to those dark orbs still hovering on her, putting her into a spell so strong that her eyes descended from her view to catch a glimpse on those thin bright pink lips. They were so endearing that even far away like that, she could feel her body being pulled as if she didn’t have any other choice than to get a taste from them. She held tight on the mini-bar table, just for the sake of it, just to be sure her body wouldn’t fail her and walk over to that living room to do something as dumb as to kiss Jeon Heejin.

 

Heejin? No, no, no.

 

_Jungeun, no, not her._

 

Not now.

 

Not here.

 

Not _ever_.

 

_Please._

 

She was struggling against her mind.

 

“Wait what? You’ve seen each other in the morning? And I’ve told you about the stares, _huh_?” Sooyoung took her away from her trance of thoughts.

 

“No, we hm-, texted?” She asked, more to herself, finally letting go of the table to head for the fridge and get herself another beer, or something stronger.

 

“B- but since when do you guys have each other’s numbers?”

 

“ _Hm_ … ever since yesterday?” Jungeun had the door open already, trying to get a look to anything _possibly_ stronger than beer.

 

_Way_ stronger.

 

“Okay, you have to let me see your messages!” It wasn’t an asking, Sooyoung went directly to get her phone in the pocket of her grey hoodie.

 

She was using a white skirt this time, no pockets on it.

 

“Wh- what- why?” She was too busy to be bothered, so she didn’t mind.

 

There was nothing to see in her messages with Heejin, anyway, they just _talked._

 

“I don’t know, just let me see it. I wanna know what you guys could be talking about, it just feels so weird.”

 

“Hey, can we open this?” Jungeun asked, getting a still closed bottle of tequila, the glim in her eye fading when she looked back at Sooyoung. One of her hands was covering her open mouth, not really believing on what she was seeing in the screen. “What?”

 

“ _What?_ You come here right now, you little shit!” Jungeun did, even though not quite understanding the reason behind it. “You closeted _-fucking-_ lesbian, you two spend the whole day flirting, look at this!”

 

Sooyoung couldn’t stop laughing and clapping in disbelief.

 

“Shut up! We didn’t. Can I _please_ open this?” She signaled to the bottle in her hands again.

 

“I’m- _okay_ , we’re going to open this right now. But let me prepare some lemons and get me the salt please, it’s in the second shelf at the left.” She said. “I can _fucking_ believe you Kim Jungeun!” She didn’t forget to add, she wasn’t letting go of that any soon.

 

“Hey, what are you guys doing over here?” Jinsoul asked, getting into the kitchen.

 

“Tequila shots!” Jungeun said, getting a plate for the salt and the tiny cups for the shoots after, Sooyoung cutting the lemons in four (surely not equally) parts.

 

“Let’s play never have I ever then! Or anything, we’re getting bored over there. And I need an excuse to kiss a girl.”

 

Sooyoung scoffed.

 

“You don’t need an excuse, you need to be pushed against a girl’s lips, so you can make a move.”

 

“That- that’s not entirely true, okay? I’ve tried some pick-up lines, she just won’t get it.”

 

“Right… you’re really a useless lesbian, aren’t you? Jungeun, _pretty please_ , don’t grow up to be like your friend over there.”

 

“Hm, what’s happening?” Jinsoul asked, eyes curiously going over to Jungeun.

 

“Noth-…”

 

“She’s flirting with Heejin.”

 

“FLIRTING WITH HEE-…” Jungeun ran, literally, in despair when seeing well known dark locks flying around and making its way inside the kitchen as well.

 

She covered Jinsoul’s mouth with her hand, preventing her from saying the full name even though it was pretty obvious. The blonde wouldn’t stop laughing in her hand, truly a mouth breather.

 

“Is everything alright around here?” Heejin asked, looking to a very awkwardly stiffed Jungeun and to both Jinsoul and Sooyoung failing to hold their laugher.

 

“Yeah, yeah… nothing to see here, just those two being fucking weirdos.”

 

“Oh, _right._ ” Heejin stiffened on her spot too, forgetting for a moment the reason for walking there, the mood tensing up around them.

 

“Hm, so…” Jungeun released Jinsoul’s mouth, just to regret it seconds after. “Do you guys feel a little bit of a gay vibe?”

 

She mouthed a _run_ towards her friend, not long after blushing with Heejin’s confused look at her direction. Then, she stormed off until she reached Jinsoul to beat her ass off for embarrassing her like that. She only stopped when, after running so much, they ended up back at the kitchen, Heejin still there talking with Sooyoung, that seeing Jungeun back there couldn’t hold herself from saying: “Hey Jungeun, I’d cuddle with my girlfriend too… but no homo.”

 

Jungeun turned into a red mess, knowing so well the older was adressing to her earlier texts with Heejin.

 

Maybe the younger noticed too.

 

(…)

 

Everything started to look very foggy and that was when the alcohol kicked in for sure, of course, that wasn’t long after Jungeun started with the tequila shots. She got only two, _okay_ maybe three, and she had the worst idea of sitting in the couch to watch as the girls play. It all started with _never have I ever_ , like Jinsoul suggested, but it soon faded to _truth or dare,_ and she saw how Sooyoung was trying her best to get Jinsoul and Haseul to kiss. She was also glad that the younger ones were now playing Mario Kart in the television and a little bit sad that she wasn’t good at that game. Also, she never knew when it happened, but now she was sitting by Heejin’s side and pretty much leaning her head on her shoulder, hands usually on her lap as Heejin was torn between playing or diving into Jungeun’s clumsy embrace.

 

Hyunjin was sitting by the younger’s left side and Jungeun could watch her spare annoyed glares, but not that she could really mind them in her current state. Everyone was from slightly drunk to almost passing out at that stage, Jinsoul really close to passing out due to the disappointment of never having a proper shot to kiss her crush. Or kiss anyone actually, because seeing her friend clinging to Heejin was starting to get a toll on her. She never thought that she would be feeling like this, _never_ , not she that always teased so much that they would end up together. Her eyes met Hyunjin’s at least a couple of times and there was a sympathy there, one that got her uneased to her bones, so she drank.

 

She kept drinking until she couldn’t anymore, because Haseul wouldn’t let her.

 

Jungeun only thought that she was nervous around Haseul, and she could really understand why, she was probably the most beautiful girl anyone could ever met. She was nervous when around her too, if there was a girl that she would kiss without ever giving a second thought it has to be Haseul. Not only a kiss, she would take a bullet for her, she’d do anything she might ask, without ever regretting. Soon enough, she ended up fully hugging Heejin’s side and the girl never bothered to ask her to leave so it was all good. Her face buried to her neck, getting lost on her scent and sending shivers to the younger’s spine and she noticed.

 

She noticed _damn well_ when the hair on her nape and arms went up.

 

“Are you cold?” Jungeun asked snuggling closer, as if it was possible, by that time Sooyoung was doing some stupid dance dare Jinsoul asked her for when the bottle of tequila landed facing her.

 

“Maybe a- a little…” She said, voice breaking in the middle because Jungeun’s voice was way too deep and way to close to her ear.

 

Heejin wasn’t expecting Jungeun to take off her hoodie in no time, only to put on top of her shoulders.

 

“Here you go.”

 

“Th- thank you.”

 

Did Heejin stuttered?

 

She did.

 

Jungeun noticed, she noticed it _all_ , even the pink blush on her cheeks and neck, the looks of their friends as well. She only smiled back at them, even at a frowning Hyunjin. Though, she and Heejin were both too shy to talk much in front of everyone and it didn’t take Heejin that long to get her phone and start typing on it. Still playing a little, luck by her side as Jinsoul and Sooyoung turn never landed to her, because surely they wouldn’t be light on the tease even if Jungeun wasn’t playing along.

 

**[Heejin]:** _what were they talking about earlier?_

 

**[Heejin]:** _at the kitchen, I mean_

 

Heejin had no need to explain, she was well aware of what she was talking about and she had no filter whatsoever.

 

Not anymore.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _‘bout you_

 

At this rate, Jungeun didn’t know how she could still type. Her fingers felt like jelly and her entire body was numb, as if the blurring wasn’t enough.

 

Still, the confidence arising through her chest made she focus entirely in their conversation. Everything else around them was now far away, not able to reach them. The loud music, the girls playing Mario Kart, the girls screaming and fighting over the _truth or dare_ , she wasn’t hearing anything. But it was almost like she could her Heejin’s voice inside her head, in every new message.

 

If not hearing, she was feeling it.

 

Feeling was scarier.

 

Jungeun wasn’t afraid now, even though another voice at the back of her head was saying that she should.

 

**[Heejin]:** _kinda figured that out_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _sooyoung read our texts_

 

Her hands were trembling a little, she was still unsure about telling Heejin or not. She wasn’t out of her mind, she was just feeling a little bit too much of what she already felt. What she’s been feeling lately. She knew it, that it was there all the time, she knew that it was getting harder to hold even if she remained sober. Actually, she would probably be missing Heejin’s warm body to lean on, or how their perfumes intertwined when she lent her hoodie, or how her body tensed when she spoke even so shortly by the girl’s ears.

 

Being drunk was now her favorite thing of the night.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _she said we’re flirting_

 

She took a while to type, only sending the text when she was sure that there were no typos. Jungeun wanted to make herself clear, now for once.

 

Before answering, Heejin asked for truth when Sooyoung’s turn landed on her and of course Sooyoung would ask something like _Do you like someone from here?_ But she was asked that some turns ago, to which she replied a very shy _Yes_ and so Sooyoung quickly found a better question.

 

“Would you rather kiss someone that’s on your right or left?”

 

Everyone froze for at least half a second, Heejin wouldn’t dare to look anywhere but to Sooyoung’s eyes.

 

“We’re in a fucking circle, everyone’s to her left and right at the same time, what are you talking about?” Hyunjin scoffed and thank God she did, so everybody forgot about the question and started laughing. “Also, it’s getting late, I need to get going.”

 

“It’s not that late, come on.” Heejin asked, clutching to Hyunjin’s arm and Jungeun felt that uneasiness on her stomach all over again.

 

She was starting to get used it, maybe.

 

“I’m sorry, promised baby wolf wouldn’t get home late. So…” Hyunjin said.

 

Jinsoul gave Jungeun the _see, I told you!_ (about werewolves all over again) look from the other side, she just rolled her eyes to that and resumed to ask why the hell Jiwoo was sitting beside her and nowhere near her soon to be girlfriend.

 

Also, could they just be official already?

 

“You don’t understand.” Jungeun was peeking after waving a short goodbye to Hyunjin and Olivia, seeing Heejin following them and wondering if she was leaving too. She didn’t catch if she waved her goodbyes, though, and kept looking to her screen expecting for a new message. “I- we- things are-…”

 

“Oh my God, stop stuttering!” Jungeun said, louder that she meant too.

 

“Yah! It’s just that… earlier we- and we’ll be sleeping together and I-… I’m really nervous right now.”

 

“Oh… it’s because you don’t want or…?”

 

“No! I really really want, like, _really_ ! I’m just afraid to mess things up? And afraid that she doesn’t want it? Things got a little heated earlier and now I’m _way_ sober than before, so-…”

 

“Just go sit near her, stop being a _pussy_.” Jungeun said, slapping her shoulder, seeing Heejin walking past the door holding Hyunjin’s hand.

 

_Oh well_ , the dizziness spreading, and she was feeling like throwing up whatever twitched this hard inside her stomach.

 

“No need, she’s coming.” She whispered to her friend.

 

“Make room loser.” Sooyoung said to Jungeun, getting to sit between them both. “Can I steal your friend for a bit?”

 

“Stop calling me loser and then we talk.”

 

“Fivehead sounds any better?”

 

“How about no?”

 

They could keep arguing, but her screen finally signaled a new text and Sooyoung saw the name popping on it. Soon she was smirking to Jungeun and guiding Jiwoo upstairs, saying that they would be back soon. She didn’t fail to encourage her best friend on her way, being left alone with Jinsoul and Haseul doing anything but talking, Yerim and Yeojin still endorsed in Mario Kart. They wouldn’t be leaving the game until someone took them off, that’s for sure. Chaewon left with Hyunjin and Olivia, maybe with Heejin as well, if not she would be there playing too.

 

Jungeun barely noticed Chaewon for the whole night and it was mutual.

 

**[Heejin]:** _oh_

 

How was Jungeun supposed to reply to that dry as _fuck_ message? Should she even try or could Heejin _please_ say something else?

 

“Why don’t we keep playing by ourselves?” Jinsoul asked.

 

“Why don’t you two just kiss already? Isn’t this game supposed to be like this? No one even kissed yet! This is boring.” Jungeun said, getting two flustered messes in front of her.

 

“Wanna bet that the 2jin girlies are having their goodbye kiss as we speak?”

 

Jungeun didn’t noticed how her hands turned to fists and breathing got so hard, she _oh so_ wanted to say that not, they weren’t, but she couldn’t.

 

“Wait, aren’t they leaving together?”

 

“I heard Heejin’s going to sleep over here?” Haseul was the one to speak.

 

_Oh._

 

The confirmation she never wanted.

 

“Who wants another beer?” Jinsoul blurted out, trying and failing to get on her feet. Haseul prevented her for falling flat on her butt.

 

“Not you, that’s for sure.” She said and then it came the awkward silence, Jungeun wanting to be anywhere but right there in front of them.

 

**[Heejin]:** _were we?_

 

Jungeun looked to her front, somewhat suspicious that the girls could see through her and know that she was talking to Heejin.

 

They couldn’t, they were all over in the other couch now, in a very safe distance.

 

**[** **Jungeun]:** _idk_

 

She really didn’t.

 

**[** **Heejin]:** _would you_

 

**[** **Heejin** **]:** _like it? Maybe?_

 

Jungeun smiled to herself.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _maybe_

 

Maybe was good, yes.

 

Or maybe yes, _for sure_.

 

**[Heejin]:** _would you want to be sure?_

 

_Yes._

 

Jungeun could just say it, a simple yes.

 

But no.

 

She wouldn’t.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _how?_

 

**[Heejin]:** _come here?_

 

Yes, _again,_ yes.

 

_Jungeun, just fucking say yes you moron._

 

**[Jungeun]:** _Hyunjin’s not gonna kill me?_

 

**[Heejin]:** _they left alr_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _so… you went out just to give her a goodbye kiss?_

 

The bad turns she takes, she fucked it up again.

 

Didn’t she?

 

**[Heejin]:** _we’re best friends since kindergarten_

 

**[Heejin]:** _the only person id like to kiss is being a dickhead_

 

Maybe she didn’t.

 

**[Heejin]:** _again_

 

She was, of course she was.

 

She knew, she _fucking knew it_ , but she also wanted so much to be sure.

 

No, she _needed_ to be sure.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _maybe she’s just afraid_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _and confused?_

 

But who isn’t?

 

**[Heejin]:** _i am too_

 

_See?_

 

**[Heejin]:** _getting colder as well_

 

_Oh._

 

**[Heejin]:** _are u coming or not?_

 

Heejin could add one single _please,_ maybe Jungeun would be running by now.

 

If she could.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _can u wait for me?_

 

She couldn’t.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _i mean, just got off the couch and the whole house is kind of moving_

 

For real this time, she really couldn’t run.

 

**[Heejin]:** _I-_

 

**[Heejin]:** _how can you even type?_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _girl_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _i don’t know_

 

She laughed, hard, holding on to the couch hoping that Jinsoul and Haseul were too distracted to bother with her drunk ass.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _but walking’s rly hard_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _and oh_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _i need to pee_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _or throw up, will choose in the way_

 

She could’ve spared some details.

 

**[Heejin]:** _eh…_

 

**[Heejin]:** _I’m just gonna go back inside, we can talk later?_

 

The night breeze wasn’t that welcoming, even if Heejin was still using Jungeun’s hoodie.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _yeah yeah_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _later sounds good_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _to be sure tho_

 

She really needed assurance.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _left or right?_

 

_Please?_

 

**[Heejin]:** _what?_

 

Of course Heejin wouldn’t remember, Jungeun wasn’t sure how she was able to remember herself.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _sooyoung’s question_

 

**[Jungeun]:** _u never answered_

 

**[Heejin]:** _Jungeun_

 

She was fast pacing to the bathroom at this moment, realizing that she wouldn’t feel that dizzy if she just walked so fast until she couldn’t feel the house turning around.

 

**[Jungeun]:** _hm?_

 

A little halt at the door knob, that little thing was hard to press open, she really didn’t know how her weakened hands were able to even hold her cellphone properly.

 

Not that it didn’t slipped twice from her hands, after leaving the couch.

 

**[Heejin]:** _sometimes i rly want to punch u in the face_

 

(…)

 

“I like it when you smile.” Heejin blurted out, her back leaning on the couch, Jungeun just by her side. The night enveloping them, because they’ve just turned off most of the lights in the first floor of Sooyoung’s apartment. Everyone else was gone by now, Haseul made sure to get Jinsoul and the remaining girls safely to their houses. Sooyoung and Jiwoo never showed up again (that was sort of expected), but she figured that if something bad happened they’ve would known by now. “There’s like four stages to it, you know?”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Yes! There’s this shy grin at first, the sides of your mouth turning upwards just a little… _see?_ Just like that!” Heejin pointed, because Jungeun reacted exactly as she was saying. “Then your dimple here shows up a little.” She touched in the middle of Jungeun’s left cheek, the dimple still not that imminent, but it was there. “Maybe more than that, but close enough.”

 

“Stop!” She asked, her mouth fully open now, showing her teeth, but it was a soundless laugh.

 

Heejin knew that it wouldn’t last long.

 

“That is the third stage by the way, the soundless laugh until you finally break, sometimes you skip some steps and go directly to this fourth one, to your usual scream laugh.”

 

“Yah!” Jungeun punched her shoulders.

 

“It usually comes with violence too!” Heejin laughed herself, hard as Jungeun but not so loud. “But it’s more like a bonus, only to when you’re embarrassed.”

 

Her scream laugh came, even if she tried hard to not let it take over her.

 

Heejin was right in her observations.

 

But…

 

“Why? Why would you know all of that?”

 

“I don’t know? It’s not like I’ve meant to.” She stopped herself, biting her lips. “Things you do when you’re bored, I guess.” She avoided her eyes, Jungeun felt it because she tried to pursue them.

 

Heejin was so bluntly lying, Jungeun felt it fascinating.

 

“This night turned to be way different than I thought.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I figured it would be more chaotic, maybe Hyunjin would beat me out or something like that.”

 

“The most Hyunjin does when she’s upset is barking like a dog, seriously. And I was joking about the hate thing, she’s not like that. She’s only jealous, because I’ve been spending more time with you, Sooyoung and Jiwoo than with her.”

 

“But she likes you.” It wasn’t a question, everyone _knew_ , everyone could see how much Hyunjin liked Heejin.

 

“I know.” Heejin looked down, fidgeting. “It’s complicated, but there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s my best friend, you know? I just can’t look at her like _that_. Wouldn’t you feel the same about Jiwoo?”

 

“You know what’s funny? Jiwoo admitted that she had a crush on me once and that she approached me because of that, after she moved in close to my house.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“But it was nothing deep, you know? She crushed on all her friends, probably, and half of the school.”

 

“It looks like something she’d do.” Heejin stopped, but soon to speak again after leaning just a little bit closer, so unfairly wetting her lips in her way. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Do we get to kiss _now_?”

 

Jungeun laughed.

 

“What is it, our third date now?”

 

Heejin laughed.

 

“Last one was our third, I told you.”

 

_They_ laughed.

And _oh._

 

Jungeun remembers, that was what Heejin was talking about yesterday.

 

“The first was the movie day…” Heejin continued. “Then the coffee after our match…”

 

“That’s the one I forgot.”

 

“See?”

 

There was the veil again, lingering around them, pulling them closer this time.

 

No fear to break, they’re both enveloped by it.

 

Jungeun hopes.

 

“So…” She had to ask.

 

“So?” Heejin had to ask too, but they were leaning in.

 

They were truly leaning in.

 

Jungeun’s breath got caught in her throat, somewhere close to where her heart was now so used to be.

 

And they were closing their eyes.

 

She could feel Heejin’s hands reaching for her cheek.

 

They were breathing in together.

 

When a sudden noise at the kitchen pulled them apart.

 

“ _Shit,_ sorry! Didn’t mean to interrupt guys.” Sooyoung said in front of the counter, a bottle of water in hands.

 

“You’re not.” They shyly whispered, never looking to each other again.

 

Jungeun got up to get water for herself too, she couldn’t stop from being thirsty.

 

Maybe that was it for the night, for _them_ , nothing would ever happen. They could get the almost, but never truly work out. This night was nothing but a mistake, and they weren’t meant to be together not even in a single point of time. Everything was meant to be broken, divided, between them. That was their fate, they should accept it. She should stop this _damn_ feeling on top of her stomach, she should stop her fast paced heart, the heavy breath, she really should it.

 

Sooyoung reached for her hand.

 

“You good?”

 

_No._

 

“Yeah… you?” Jungeun was a little afraid to ask.

 

“I have a girlfriend now.” She said with a beautiful smile taking over her face, even in the dim light Jungeun was able to see the blush all over Sooyoung’s face.

 

Heejin was still at the couch, unmoved, but she heard it and peaked it from there.

 

“Seriously?” She asked, Sooyoung only nodded, Jungeun gave her a squeeze on her shoulders shaking her briefly.

 

“Yeah…” Her voice didn’t break the point of a whisper, blushing harder. “I have the prettiest girl in the world, actually.”

 

Jungeun looked at Heejin, she couldn’t control the impulse of doing it.

 

Their eyes met.

 

She could just say it, _right there,_ that Sooyoung was wrong. She wasn’t dating the prettiest girl in the world, because that would be Heejin.

 

Jiwoo was the cutest undoubtedly, but _no,_ not the prettiest.

 

Not even Haseul.

 

When Jeon Heejin was right there in front of them.

 

She could just say it.

 

_Now._

 

_Please, say it._

 

But she didn’t.

 

“Aren’t you guys going to sleep?” Sooyoung asked, leaning against the counter to have a better look at both Heejin and Jungeun.

 

“Not feeling sleepy yet.” Jungeun was first to say.

 

“I’m going soon.” Heejin followed, but didn’t move an inch from the couch, she actually leaned full on it with her legs hanging. “You should go back to sleep as well.”

 

“I- I wasn’t _quite_ sleeping.”

 

“Oh _worm.”_

 

If Jungeun was known for her pale skin, now she was _surely_ white as paper.

 

Only now she realized that Sooyoung was wearing an oversized t-shirt and no pants, she should’ve noticed before.

 

“Let’s just pretend I didn’t say that… and by the way, everyone else left already?”

 

“They did, Haseul made sure that Jinsoul got home safe and Yerim went to sleep with her.”

 

“Did they get to kiss?”

 

“No.” They answered together.

 

“Did _you_ kiss?”

 

“ _No_.” They answered together once more, albeit this time more vehemently.

 

“Well, you should!” Sooyoung said, getting on her way back to her room as Jungeun made sure to push her until she reached the staircase.

 

“Get out!” Jungeun shouted. “And don’t you dare leaving my friend alone again, just after doing _that._ ”

 

“I made sure to leave only when I was sure she was sleeping, okay?” Sooyoung was on top of the stairs already.

 

At this point, Jungeun was more than sure that nothing would happen between her and Heejin. They were too embarrassed when Sooyoung left, also the sleepiness was finally coming in although she wasn’t as drunk as before. She went back to the couch, not believing that something might’ve happen _seriously_ , but deep down still wishing some luck. Praying that Heejin was indeed a psychic, so that she could read her. So, she could know her heart.

 

Heejin was nothing of the sort.

 

Still, a body was shuffling next to her in the same couch.

 

She felt her body swimming to her scent, just like it does on water, fluctuating.

 

Jungeun had her eyes closed, but they started talking again. About anything, mostly of how they should be heading to sleep already, Heejin letting her know that it was four in the morning.

 

She refused to open her eyes and her body too heavy to leave the couch, even if Heejin tried to pull her by her arms.

 

Maybe it was after that, Jungeun wasn’t sure, and she never knew who started it.

 

But someone did.

 

They were kissing, their worlds colliding, and the meeting of their lips was something intangible. She never kissed someone like that, sharing those short little kisses with just a faint hint of theirs tongues finding each other. She never felt this breathless as well, not even when she was betting Jinsoul to see who could remain longer underwater. No. Even though she was that breathless purposely by Heejin’s fault, she decided to breathe her in if she could be her one and only source of oxygen. So, they didn’t pull apart to breathe, they didn’t let go of each other, they only got eager for more. Nothing seemed enough and Jungeun felt herself lost in a maze, running to find a way out going deeper inside losing herself in the middle. She decided that wasn’t a good thing to focus on her chest, she was still trying to focus in anything but their kiss, because her heart was doing somersaults at that very moment.

 

Heejin was trembling, but she didn’t noticed because the warm touch of her hands resting on her cheeks was the only other thing she could think about. Her stomach was filled with knots, tightening in the verge of breaking. Jungeun liked that feeling better than any other. Because when Heejin started nibbling on her bottom lip, she could feel the knots loosing up again, to be tied right over, only to get loose once more. It was intoxicating. Heejin gasped in the middle of their kiss, the sound awakening Jungeun from her daze, to put her in dangerous waters. Her hands that were once resting on Heejin’s side, soon to get a strong grip on the girl’s waist and then she heard it again, this time slower and deeper, getting their kiss to a halt.

 

She knew Heejin was smiling when they pulled apart, although she kept refusing to open her eyes, she missed how beautiful the mole a little down her left eyes was beautiful up-close, or how her eyes were glistening on the dim lights.

 

Jungeun never knew that regret only applies to the things you miss, not when she was eighteen.

 

She missed a lot of things, then.

 

The only sound surrounding them was coming from their heavy breaths, it didn’t bother them, their cheeks pressed against one another and Heejin was now resting her hands on Jungeun’s nape. Her tiny fingers tracing patterns on the hair there, sending shivers over and over, they dived back in a couple of time too. They were being embraced by sleepiness, tired from _finally_ stopping all the fight, all the _denying._

 

Even if the denying part could’ve never come from the younger side.

 

And Heejin was smiling, of course she was, Jungeun should’ve open her eyes right _there_.

 

Her smile was beautiful, made from pure happiness.

 

She should’ve seen it.

 

“Say something.” Heejin asked, her voice so low she wasn’t sure someone was really talking to her, Jungeun first hummed before letting a tired smile cover up her mouth.

 

Heejin had her eyes open.

  
“I-…” Her own eyes fluttered open out of instinct, _she should’ve done it sooner_ , Jungeun was dumbfounded by the sight of rosy cheeks and starry eyes. “I think I just lost a bet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow is my birthday, by the way, so happy birthday me in advance! Also, let me know your thoughts if you can!

**Author's Note:**

> I'll appreciate any kind of support, as it will boost my mood surely, because it's kind of weird being back at writing as I was having such a long period without it. The updates will, probably, be this long and so I may take a little to update, but I'll try to bring a least a monthly chapter (need to make time to work and study). Hope you guys enjoy and hopefuly get more interested in Heelip. If you want, follow me on twitter @heekkiwhy and find me probably screaming over Loona.


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